Tag Archive for 'Krisandro'

7 Things That You Didn’t Know About Me

Published
by
krisandro
on August 5, 2008
in My-Life
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I like to share a little bit more about me. Why? Sick of it right? It’s my blog what. If I don’t talk about me, me and me, then I talk about who?

YOU MEH?

WAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA!!!

Okay okay! Kidding lar. Don’t click the red little cross on the top right hand corner of your window. I will talk about YOU soon.

By the way….

Who are YOU anyway?

WAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Anyway, I shall really move on to the list before you people really close the window.

#1. I am not an Indonesian Chinese.

Quite a number of people have been thinking that I am not local. Krisandro McBecks is a nick that I plucked out of nowhere last time and it stuck with me. Sorry if it sounds un-Singaporean.

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#2. I was a Rebel

During primary school, I skipped classes for 2 and a 1/2 months! Of course I got caught at the end of it and got public canning. I remembered that I got two strokes and I cried like a gu-niang (sissy).

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#3. I am not Religious

When I was young, I went to church. I loved books very much then and I actually finished reading the Bible at some point in time. My mentality after that changed as I classified the Bible as fiction and stopped going to church and went to the library to borrow books that had dragons and elves. Please do not be offended for the religious that are reading this. It’s a choice everyone makes and I do like people who are religious as most of them encourage people to do good.

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#4. I got 3 Testicles

I am kidding. WAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAAAA!!

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#5. I Loved Origami

I know this sounds so gay but when I was in primary school, I started to love the art of origami and I used to go to the library to borrow books about it. I remember I had this wooden box that held lots of coloured paper of different sizes and I would bring it to school and fold it in between classes. Even during Sec One!

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#6. I had a Humsup (Lecherous) Mole on my Chin

I have a lot of facial moles and some were more prominent than the rest and I had to remove one such mole. It was relatively big and it sat on the left of my lower chin. Just imagine it! Me, being such a nice, polite gentleman *cough cough* with such a misleading mole. Of course I had to cut it off!

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#7. I got 2 Testicles.

I am telling you the truth lar.

11 Comments

Krisandro and a Blind Old Man

Published
by
krisandro
on July 2, 2008
in My-Life
.

Last night, I was with KuKuNehNeh(KKNN) at Yio Chu Kang(YCK) waiting for a bus when we saw a blind old man at the front of the queue. KKNN motioned towards him and said,

“Eh Dear. That is the old man whom I helped cross the road when it was raining cats and dogs.”

“Oh! Is he nice and friendly?”

“Yup!”

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The reason why I asked if the blind man was nice is because I had times in my life when I tried to help people in need on the streets and got rejected rudely. An example was a number of years back when I saw this very old man struggling to alight from the front doors of a bus. He was trembling from the lack of strength in his legs and arms and I went ahead of him and on the road and held his arm to support. I don’t know where a weak old man with trembling limbs get his strength from but he immediately flinged my arm away and proceeded to yell at me in some dialect that I have no idea till now what it means. It was either his ego or his bad experience that didn’t want my help. I walked away.

So at YCK yesterday, I knew I might need to help this blind old man later and I made sure he is a nice guy first so that in the event that he is not, I am prepared to be floored by a blind old man. The old man got up the bus with help from an uncle and we got on as well. KKNN then proceeded to tell me that he will know exactly when to alight and true enough, immediately after the bus left the preceding bus stop, he pressed the bell.

We were alighting at the same stop and I approached him on the bus.

(All conversations are in Chinese and conveniently typed to you guys in English. Thank me all you want, but the truth is if I typed in Chinese, this post will have been ready by year 2010.)

“Uncle! You are getting down here right? Let me help you.”

“Thank you ah, young man!”

(Shiok! At this age, only an old man will call me young man. I should start making friends out of old folks.)

I supported him as he slowly made his way onto the bus stop pavement.

“Uncle ah, where you want to go? I bring you there.”

“I want to go to Blk 641. It’s around there.”

(He points at a direction and I thought he was being general and I looked at KKNN and she didn’t know where it was.)

KKNN LIVES NEARBY LOR! WAH LAU!

(I motioned for KKNN to go home first as I thought it would take some time for me to find BLK 641.)

“Uncle, let’s walk here.”

(I led him to the left.)

“No no! 641 is to the RIGHT!”

“Er… Okay…”

And true enough, Blk 641 is on the right and just behind the bus stop. WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!

Blind old man who wants to go somewhere. Young able bodied man with a girlfriend who lives in the area. Blind old man SHOWS the couple the way to get there.

fail

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I then slowly walked him back to his lift lobby and he insisted on going up himself but not before bowing his head and thanking me.

Feels good to help him and feels even better to be appreciated despite lacking in my sense of direction.

WAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAH!!

14 Comments

My 100th Wordpress Post and I Owe it All to YOU!

Published
by
krisandro
on June 23, 2008
in Announcements and My-Life
.

The very first popular blog that I came across was Xiaxue’s back in the days when she was funnier and less commercialized(IMHO). Blogs at that time were a form of entertainment and a way to keep myself updated on my friends lives. Having a steady income back in 2005, I got a webhost and the URL ‘www.krisandro.com’ without going through what most bloggers go through; Having a free blogging platform like blogspot/wordpress/xanga and then realizing later that they want a self hosted blog.

It wasn’t my intentions to use it as a blog in the 1st place but I eventually hopped onto the bandwagon and started to write. I used dreamweaver/frontpage to design and code my blog and it wasn’t powered by any blogging platform. I don’t have any friends who had a self hosted blog during those times, and without the knowledge of blogging platforms for self-hosted blogs, you can imagine how stupid it was for the period between March 2005 to Feb 2008. I was basically coding everything manually like my archives.

LOL

My traffic back then was mostly made up of my ‘offline’ friends and colleagues and then I start to hear good comments that I was ‘funny’. I then started to write a little more frequently and got ‘tomorrow-ed’ a couple of times. Unfortunately, after migrating to wordpress, you guys won’t be able to see the old entries that I had before Feb 2008.

I had a very long blogging hiatus for a period of almost 6 months because of personal reasons and there are 3 reasons that made me come back to blogging in February this year.

#1 – Friends

KuKuNehNeh knew me better through my old blog archives and after we got together, she kept badgering me to revive my blog. Friends like DX, Ade and my WLNY pals also popped by every once in a while through my shoutbox and say things like…

“YOUR BLOG IS DEAD!!!”
*REMOVE COBWEBS*
“KRISANDO!!! COME BACK! I LOVEEEEEEEEE YOU!!!”

Okay, it’s obvious that I made the last one up but the point is, these people gave me the confidence that they would like me to write again.
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#2 – Wordpress

wordpress

Seriously. Without wordpress, there is no reason for me to update my blog as often as I can now. Everything is great about the platform to the point that I only need to concentrate mostly on content, content and content. Well, in krisandro’s blog, it’s actually rubbish, rubbish and rubbish. But I know you guys like rubbish and rubbish is gonna stay!
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#3 – Ping.sg

stats
I don’t think the traffic for June can match the traffic of May though

Without Ping.sg, my blog’s growth would not have been what it is now. Nice folks do submit my works to tomorrow.sg every now and then but it is Ping.sg that gives me constant traffic. It’s also the folks at Ping who are very supportive of my blogging style and they make up a majority of the ones who leave comments whenever I post something up and it feels bloody nice to have people leave comments.
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This is my 100th wordpress post, and I’ll dedicate this to the 3 reasons I mentioned and all my supporters, including those who are SILENT READERS. You know who you are.. (Cuz nobody else knows who you are…)

17 Comments

I Can Haz $19,000,000???

Published
by
krisandro
on June 20, 2008
in Entertainment
.

I got this interesting email in my spam folder a couple of nights ago and usually I will do quick scans of the titles and sender names before I empty the whole spam folder. Usually, the spam titles will ATTEMPT to address victims with names and for me it will be usually ‘KRIS’, ‘KRISANDRO’ or ‘KRISANDRO MCBECKS’. And I opened this particular email because,

email-header

Seldom will I have emails addressing me as ‘KRIS TAN’ and so I got curious and opened it. These are the contents.

BARR ZHAO CHANG

BENTARIO PANG RD,

75 JALA GELENG,

DOUPASARA CLOSE, 56000

KUALA LUMPUR,

MALAYSIA,

Email: barr.zchang@gmail.com

Phone: +60129238257

Good day I am Barr Zhao Chang, an attorney at law.A deceased client of mine, who here in after shall be referred to as my client, died as the result of a heart-related condition on the 11 November 2001. His heart condition was due to the death of all the members of his family in the Gulf Air Flight Crashes in Persian Gulf Near Bahrain Aired August 23, 2000 - 2:50 p.m. ET as reported on:http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0008/23/bn.08.html

I have contacted you to assist in distributing the money left behind by my client before it is confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank where this deposit valued at Nineteen million dollars( US$19 million dollars) is lodged. This bank has issued me a notice to contact the next of kin, or the account will be confiscated.

My proposition to you is to seek your consent to present you as the next-of-kin and beneficiary of my named client, since you have the same last name, so that the proceeds of this account can be paid to you. Then we can share the amount on a mutually agreed-upon percentage. All legal documents to back up your claim as my client’s next-of-kin will be provided.All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this transaction through.

This will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from many breach of the law. If this business proposition offends your moral values,do accept my apology. I must use this opportunity to implore you to exercise the utmost indulgence to keep this matter extraordinary confidential, whatever your decision, while I await your prompt response.Please contact me at once to indicate your interest. I will like you to acknowledge the receipt of this e-mail as soon as possible via my private email address which is ( barr.zchang@gmail.com ) and treat with absolute confidentiality and sincerity.I look forward to your quick reply.

Best regards,

Barr Zhao Chang

Attorney at Law

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First of all, his email is ‘barr.zchang’ which totally sounds like this Chinese delicacy.

taiwaneseglutinousricedumplings
[Photo of Ba Zhang from here]

Apparently, this Ba Zhang has a client who died on 11 November 2001 because his whole family died in an air crash and the client left behind U.S NINETEEN MILLION DOLLARS ($19,000,000) behind. The bank asked him to look for his next of kin and since there isn’t any, BaZhang looked for me because me and the dead rich dude has the same last name.

Well… If my name is Kris QwertyWTFLOLBBQ then it isn’t a problem I guess. I don’t think anybody has that for a surname, but my surname is…

TAN

According to wikipedia, the MOST common ethnic Chinese surname is none other than ‘TAN’! 9.5% of the Chinese in Singapore have the same surname as me which means that you 237,800 Tans have a chance to share the 19 million dollars with our dear BaZhang friend

singapore-tans

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I have no need of so much monopoly money. So, don’t hesitate! CONTACT BAZHANG NOW!

taiwaneseglutinousricedumplings2

12 Comments

Krisandro Has A Blogger Namecard!

Published
by
krisandro
on June 18, 2008
in My-Life
.

I’ve been wanting to design and print a blogger namecard ever since I saw a whole SLEW of bloggers start to print their namecards like Claudia, Nadnut, Jayden and Rinaz who got their lovely cards printed at Tommy Print.

So, after so long, I decided to run through some ideas through my head and this is my namecard!

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*drumroll*

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…………………………

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…………………

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…………

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………

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……

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…

TADA!!!

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namecard-fronts
Front

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namecard-backs
Back

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The only problem is that it is not PRINTED yet and I have a few blogger events to go to! And I think this design is only done over a couple of hours and I need more time to refine it. So no choice lar. Have to settle with this…

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temp-namecard

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“Hieee~! My lame is kiss-send-do! Here ish my lame card! Muz cum my bRog hokayz?”

21 Comments