Women | k r i s a n d r o

Tag Archive for 'women'

Women and Their Shorts

Published
by
krisandro
on November 17, 2008
in My-Views
.

Imagine a wonderful, sunny weekend with a cool breeze that promises a walk out of the house without having to sweat like a runner in a marathon. You and the love of your life decide to get out of the house to take a stroll down to the bus stop to take a short bus trip to a shopping mall nearby for a nice breakfast.

It’s only a short trip down to the mall and what else would one need to carry and so the both of you decided to just carry along your wallets, handphones and keys.

“Such a lovely day my Love…” You whispered, almost fearing that the weather will turn bad just by saying it out loud. You tuck your wallet into your back pocket and slip your handphone into the right pocket. Not wanting to scratch the phone, you naturally opted to keep the keys in your left pocket. Feeling good about the day already, you walked away from the gate with a trailing hand, expecting the soft hands of your girl to grasp it like she always does.

“Wait Dear!” She called as you turned around to face her. “Hold on to my wallet will you?”

“Sure!” You answered as you tucked her wallet into your other back pocket. Looking at her shorts, you understand that the wallet would probably make an unsightly bulge in her shorts.

“…. and keep my keys… and my handphone… oh! And also my bill. I want to pay for it at the mall!”

You look at her in bewilderment and pointed towards her shorts. “I think I can stuff all these into my pockets but why don’t you put some of your stuffs into your pockets?”

front-pocket

back-pockets

Counting the 2 pocket sleeves on her sides and 2 pocket flaps on her back, you said, “And besides, you got 4 empty pockets there.”

“But I got no pockets.” She answers with the tone of a person saying that the sky is blue.

“What are you talking about? You got 4 of them!”

“These are not pockets! See!” She exclaims while twirling around to show you.

front-pocket2

back-pocket2

 

“HUH? WHY THE TOOT ARE THERE POCKET SLEEVES AND FLAPS WHEN THERE ARE NO POCKETS?”

 

According to some of the replies I got in my plurk thread. These are some of the reasons why there are shorts with pocket sleeves and pocket flaps BUT are pocket-less.

  1. Sleeves and flaps are for decoration
  2. Flaps on the back makes the butt look more perky
  3. Women don’t use pockets and don’t mind carrying things on hand
  4. Bags are created for a reason
  5. Guys pockets are created for a reason

For points 1, 2, 3 & 4, I think there is space for a small pockets even when the shorts are…. short. So why not just sew in the pocket and let each girl choose if she wants to use it or not? Isn’t it great to walk out hands-free?

As for point 5. Er…. err….. errrrrr…..

 

“Yes Dear! I’ll take everything Dear. Anything for you my Dear!”

6 Comments

He Gets Intimate With 30 Women in Two Months

Published
by
krisandro
on September 10, 2008
in My-Views
.

A headline on Monday’s edition of The New Paper grabbed my attention and it read,

doc-date-470x363
Full article here

 

Yep. This man named David Tian, claims that he has “been intimate with 30 women in two months”. He also claims to be able to “make Singapore men more suitable suitors and, thus, ease Singapore’s procreation woes.”

Telling it to the papers with your face printed all over? That’s like walking into club and telling everyone through a mic that you are a player. It may be true and the men will applaud but it seriously dampens your chances with the chicks dude.

I am not a woman, but if I were one, I don’t want to procreate with a man taught by someone who gets intimate with 30 women in just the space of two months.

*hears the distant cry of a man who shot his own foot*

24 Comments

Why Male Bloggers Have it Tough!

Published
by
krisandro
on July 4, 2008
in My-Views and rambles
.

I don’t know if anyone shares the same views as me on this one, but I generally find that male bloggers have it tough compared to female bloggers. Since there is such a wide range of blogging styles, let me tie the success of a blogger by his/her traffic. Of course there are other factors that can determine the success of a particular blogger but let’s face it…

NO TRAFFIC NO TALK!

If someone on the street asks you, “Name me 3 top bloggers in Singapore.” How many of you people will actually name 3 guys or even 2? I think there will be some of you who won’t even name one.

battle-of-the-sexes
[Image from here]

Why is it so? Are women better bloggers than men? What defines ‘better’?

What brings in the traffic? Someone who writes insightful posts in perfect English or a looker who post pictures and cannot write for nuts?

Go look at the blogs that you guys bookmarked or subscribed and tell me if it isn’t female dominated. If you have nuffnang polls, look at it and tell me if it isn’t female dominated readers.

First, let’s define success of a blog again. It’s largely based on popularity and popularity = traffic. And high traffic does NOT MEAN that a blogger writes well. In fact, I feel that there is a misconception in some people that blogging = writing. So to these people, they feel sick to their toes when they see female blogs full of camwhore-d pictures and little writing and these bloggers have enormous amounts of traffic. Many of these bloggers who enjoy relatively high traffic are often ridiculed by people but the amazing thing is…

Most people who dislike popular female blogs still visit them.

Do people who dislike popular male blogs still visit? Yes! But not as much as the former.

Let me just quote an example. I visit Dawn Yang’s blog often even though I think little of her writing. If you ask me to list a blog post that she wrote about, I really cannot remember anything she wrote. I only visit her blog to look at her pictures. My eyes automatically disregards all the text in her entries. I know many who dislikes her but still visits her.

Why oh why? It’s because the measure of a ‘popular’ blog is not by one’s writing.

It’s measured by how ‘interesting’ it is. And it doesn’t matter if you are an life, insightful, entertainment, food, pRon, LINKster(bloggers who scours the internet for links) or camwhore blogger. Whatever genre you are in, if you are interesting, traffic will come.

Now, let me paint you guys a situation. Let’s compare two imaginary bloggers.

  1. Blogger A - Male, plain looking, writes about his mundane life.
  2. Blogger B - Female, plain looking, writes about her mundane life.

If you had to choose between the two, who would you visit more often? I can name another 10 examples and most people will choose to read the female blog.

In reality, regardless of gender, people in general just like to visit female blogs more. It’s just the way it is. There are always exceptions but you simply can’t deny the fact that female bloggers tend to get a bigger chunk of the traffic.

Female bloggers are more interesting and hence more popular and there is nothing wrong with it!

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ACCEPT IT!

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And guys suck at camwhoring by the way.

epic-fail

…

…Like me…

15 Comments

It’s a Blessing To Have a Loved One Who Enjoys Cooking

Published
by
krisandro
on May 20, 2008
in My-Life
.

KuKuNehNeh loves cooking for family and friends. She loves it when people she cooks for enjoys the food and are appreciative of her effort. Having nobody dying yet from her food also makes her pretty credible.

WAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA!!! (She’s gonna kill me…)

The truth is, she is quite the cook. She doesn’t have the vast amount of recipes like my Mum has yet nor the chopping skills of YAN CAN COOK! SO CAN YOU!, but she has the right passion and love for cooking. It’s hard to find a girl who can cook these days you know! They are such a rare species these days that KuKuNehNeh might be labeled ‘Endangered’ in a few years time. I don’t want to end up visiting her at the Zoo, so can you ladies learn how to cook please!

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kukunehneh-animal

WAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA!!! (She’s REALLY gonna kill me…)

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We had our share of fun out BBQ-ing and bowling on Sunday already and we decided to spend Monday at home. Waking up at around 11am like the pigs we were, she went to wash up and worked hard at preparing the meal for the both of us. Seeing her so hard at work, I could not just STAND BY AND WATCH.

So, I stayed in the aircon room and played with the computer.

WAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA!!! (I am so dead…)

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After an hour plus of ‘battle’ in the kitchen, this is what she came up with. (Since these are from KuKuNehNeh, I can name it whatever I want!)

fried-rice
Dish #1: Flied Lice Velly Nice

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baked-beans-with-potato
Dish #2: Buddha Jumps Over the Wall and Lands On His Face

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cabbage-shrimps
Dish #3: Shrimpy Decabbagelicious

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fries
Dish #4: Fries Lor

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My favorite dish would have to be Shrimpy Decabbagelicious. It was probably the easiest to prepare but I love the simplicity of the taste and how well it goes with the Flied Lice Velly Nice.

KuKuNehNeh’s favorite will have to be the Fries Lor. She loves soggy fries unlike me. I always argue with her over McDonald’s that fries are MEANT to be CRISPY. Why? Imagine a fast food commercial on your TV with a sexy male voice saying, “Come! And try our delicious SOGGY fries!”. Doesn’t make sense right? Fries should be CRISPY!

Of course she ignores me and continue poking at every fries on the tray till she gets all the soggy ones and I get all the crispy ones with a finger dent on it.

I was still delighted with all her efforts and then proceeded to do a happy dance before I wash the dishes.

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Actually, the dance isn’t related to the food lar. But I just find it amusing and so it’s here.

Thank you KuKuNehNeh for all the effort in whipping up the delicious dishes!

11 Comments

Tips On How To Tackle The Elusive Pretty Woman (Part II)

Published
by
krisandro
on May 16, 2008
in My-Views
.

In the 1st part, I shared with you guys on how to get the 10/10 woman’s number. Now you have her number and she doesn’t have yours. Being in this situation, what would you do?

1. Call her immediately to see if the number is correct.

2. Call her that very night.

3. Call her the very next day.

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dial-phone
[Image from Flickr]

WRONG! Seeing is that she is a hot 10/10 woman, she probably got 10 guys or more who tried to pick her up that day. And let’s just be optimistic and say that 5 out of the 10 (including yourself) manage to get her number. How many of the 5 will call her within 48hrs? All the other 4 would, most of the time. But you! You are different, because you have been enlightened by krisandro and his crap!

Call her only after a week or slightly less. Why? Because, after 2 days the 10/10 would have gotten calls from the other predictable 4 guys. In the next few days, she would be wondering, “Hey, why didn’t the 5th guy call me?”. She may not think of you THAT often, but having just ONE thought, makes her think of you without you doing anything at all. By this time, her interest would have risen a little bit because you are different and a little mysterious. Do take note that it is also important to not wait THAT LONG. If you call her 5 years later, thinking that she will salivate over the phone for you, please wake up your ducking idea.

The next point might be harder to accept. We all know that most girls LOVE to chat over the phone. Most guys bank on that idea and try to charm a woman over the same medium as well. The truth is, studies have shown that ‘communication’ is 55% visual (body language & eye contact), and 38% is vocal (pitch, speed, volume, tone of voice) and words you use are only a measly 7%.

What does this mean to you? It means that if you talk to her over the phone and you have PERFECT vocal skills and FLOWERY vocabulary and score a 100% on both terms, you will still fail on the overall. Because, the two terms I mentioned only make up 45% of ‘communication’.

The best thing you can do when you manage to call her is to do the following.

1. Say your name and hope that she remembers you.

2. Jog her memory a little if she doesn’t

3. Ask her out on a dinner date on WEEKDAYS. (Fridays count as weekends)

4. Offer a specific date and time.

5. If she agrees on that date, end the call politely.

6. If she disagrees, wait for her to counter-propose.

7. If she doesn’t, propose another day.

8. If she rejects it as well, end the call politely with no hints of calling back.

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Let me explain further on the few points. The reason why you only ask a woman out on weekdays for the 1st few dates is because almost everyone values weekends more than weekdays. Weekends are usually for close ones like family, friends or love interests. By asking her out on a weekday, you don’t threaten her plans and increase the possibility of her being free enough to go out with you.

The point of asking her out on a specific date and time is to show your confidence and to reduce her thought process. If you ask open ended questions like, “Hey, WHEN are you free ah?”, she will think about a lot more stuffs other than her schedule. If she rejects your first offer, pause and wait for her to speak. If she does counter-offer, it shows that she is genuinely not free and wants to offer another date. Lots of men try too hard and sound like,

“Tomorrow not free ah? How about Tuesday? No? Wednesday? Thursday leh? FRIDAY CAN? PLEASE?“

Of course she might not counter-propose and you should try ONE more time. But that’s it. If she still rejects your second proposal for a date and time, end the call politely. If you really want to try again, do it again after a week or less to show that you have determination but not desperate enough to call her the very next day.

If you played this right, and she agrees to the date and realize that she still doesn’t have your number after the call. Good for you! Call her again on that dinner date itself to confirm the date and give her your number, so that you don’t stand in the middle of Bugis Junction looking like an idiot. If she asks for your number on the 1st call, its okay as well. But now, she has some means to think about it and may reject you easily with just an sms.

man-waiting
[Image from Flickr]

Scoring the 1st date is just a small step towards the goal of having her as your girl. I may blog about the “Do’s and Don’ts of Dates” when I feel like it. Meanwhile, you all can stutter and stumble your way around. :p

Oh and by the way, don’t hate the girls who say ‘No’ to you that early. Be grateful that you get rejected early than having her hover around and wasting your time with you thinking that you got a chance. Recognize the signs that she isn’t interested in you and move on.

12 Comments