k r i s a n d r o

This happened quite some time ago and I was reminded again of it when a group of friends were talking about the weird encounters with people.

A couple of months ago, Me and KKNN boarded the train at City Hall and stood pretty cramped near the train doors like any other day in the grossly overcrowded trains in Singapore during peak hours. We started to hear this guy speaking in mandarin about 2 – 3 feet away saying,

“Go away! Go away! All of you!” (in Mandarin)

He was pretty audible in the cabin and initial assessment was that he is speaking through a hands free set on the mobile but he was obviously a mentally unstable person as he repeated the line above a few times while swinging pretty roughly on the vertical pole in front of him.

“Go away! Go away! All of you!” (in Mandarin)

Odds are getting low that he is even talking to ghosts or the likes and I gently shuffled my feet and pushed KKNN to the side so that I get in between Mr. GoAway and KKNN. This position probably favoured KKNN in ways more than her safety as she can now unabashedly stare at Mr. GoAway just by looking straight over my shoulders.

There was this couple locked in tight embrace on the opposite door where we were at and Mr. GoAway started saying,

“Go back home lar! Go back home to fuck! Stand here and hug for what? Go home and insert it in!” (in Mandarin)

Despite all logical reasons to keep a straight face at this point in time, I couldn’t help but give a contorted face of controlled laughter like one would get if you stood in front of your CEO who had his zipper hang open.

After making loud comments about other passengers in the train including things like “Si Ang Mor!” (Stupid Caucasian), he turned to look at me and exclaimed loudly,

“Lecherous spectacles!” (in Mandarin)

I was wearing this pair of specs that day you see…

Triple X

Half expecting him to step over and saw my head off like the accident last year, Mr. GoAway decided to take another look at me and said,

“Go Bioskin lar! So many scars on your face.” (in Mandarin)

Note that at this point in time, the cabin’s ambient volume is quite low as most people were intently watching/listening Mr. GoAway’s every move. He then uttered the next line…

“But my skin is worse than yours.” (in Mandarin)

Despite Mr. Go Away’s criticism towards my imperfections, he seemed to be quite aware of his as well. Wahahahahahahaa!!!

He left a few stations before our stop and I couldn’t help but wonder at what goes through his mind as he was in that train. On further thought, I realized that it’s not about his difference in thinking from the normal person but it was more the fact that he lost his ability to filter his thoughts and whatever he thinks about; he just says it out without holding back.

If all my thoughts are not filtered, I would probably sound super crazy on the trains.

I am serving my first In-Camp Training (ICT) this week as an National Serviceman (NSman) and it’s been a wealth of emotions and feelings leading up to Monday and the completion of the first day in the camp.

1 year and 3 months have passed since I left the Air Force as a regular and the stressed job of being an Air Traffic Controller. The memories of the 4 and a half years spent in the service still lingers in the recesses of my brain (whatever is left of it).

I need approximately 2 hours to travel via public transport from my home to my squadron in the east and I wanted to rest early. I tried to sleep from 12 midnight and could only doze off into a semi-conscious state at around 3am because I stressed myself out from thinking of all the situations in difficult controlling situations.

Besides the insane amount of travelling time, another big complaint I have is that I cannot bring any gadgets like my laptop, psp or my Nokia N95 into camp and that means ZERO entertainment for 4 hrs of travelling everyday and not being able to take any nap in the train ride as well. Wearing the Air Force uniform with officer epulettes and sleeping on the train is akin to shouting out loud,

“HEY!!!! I AM AN OFFICER! I AM TAKING A NAP! WHY DON’T YOU ALL TAKE A PICTURE OF ME SLEEPING AND POST A PIC TO STOMP???”

So, for the 1st time in a decade or more, I went to the library to borrow books to help me pass time in the train. BOOKS! I know people STILL read books but to me, that’s such a retro form of entertainment.

BOOKS! *rolls eyes*

I am very bad with directions and have trouble remembering how to get from point A to B even if I might have traveled the same route before. Streetdirectory.com was my savior back then and even so, I have been hating the cluttered layout and lack of support for SMRT buses in their route planning for public transport. But compared to the other local map directories, streetdirectory.com was the best.

Streetdirectory.com was sued by Singapore Land Authority (SLA) last year over the usage of their maps and it took very long bring back the maps to the needy locals like me and probably lost quite a large number of following in the period of time. I do have to highlight that the facebook group ‘I miss Streetdirectory.com’ has quite an impressive following of 5K+ members.

But thanks to the e27 conference that I’ve attended in July, I got to know about a local startup by 3 young men called GoThere.sg. There were many interesting web startups that thay but GoThere.sg was definitely the highlight for me. After using it for months and months, I reaffirm that it is everything that streetdirectory.com should be and MORE.

Clean Interface

Messy Streetdirectory.com

VS

Neat Gothere.sg

Compared to the clutter of Streetdirectory.com, Gothere.sg is a great relief to the eyes. There have just undergone a face-lift and it looks aestheically pleasing while retaining the clutter-free interface.

Leveraging on a Great Product

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Gothere.sg’s maps are based on the already wonderful product that is of Google Maps. If you guys have ever used Google Maps before, I am sure you’ll marvel at the speed and the ease of navigation. What Gothere.sg did was to add overlays of local information like block numbers, building names, bus stop locations coupled with bus services and even ERP gantry locations. This made a great product even better and relevant to the locals.

Excellent Public Transport Guide

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This has to be the most important for me and people who do not own a car. Choose where you are going from and where you are off to and Gothere.sg will tell you how to drive there or how to travel to the destination via public transport with two options, ‘Bus only’ OR ‘Bus and Train’. Gothere.sg plans your route with train and bus information from both SBS AND SMRT.

Other Great Features

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Clicking icons on the maps like Parking, ERP and Bus Stops gives you information like parking fees, ERP car rates, bus services and timings (for SBS via IRIS).

Gothere.sg allows the embedding of their map to help you share the route/information you found on a website.

Gothere.sg is still an infant compared to Streetdirectory.com but has already surpassed their predessesor in so many aspects. I do hope that the guys at Gothere.sg can find ways to monetize the site while keeping the clutter to a minimum like the way it is now. One can only hope for more improvements and have it grow and not die off like many web startups we have all seen that died prematurely.

Trust me on this one. Forget about Streetdirectory.com. GoThere.sg is the answer! Spread the word!

Having a regular job now means that I am again subjecting myself to the rush hour where Singaporeans and foreigners come together and rear the ugly side of humanity. I am no angel but I think I might be be given an associate membership into the hall of saints when compared to the kinds of people I see on the train.

Without further a due, I present to you Krisandro’s list of MRT Rules.

1. When on the escalator during rush hour, either keep left or you follow the rushing passengers on the right. Don’t stall the fast lane and tempt me to grab your legs and throw you over the side.

2. When SMRT says they are increasing the number of train trips, it doesn’t mean that you can wake up later. And please don’t look at the screens telling you how long the next train is going to arrive if you have high blood pressure.

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3. If you want to get into the train cabin and you do not let the passengers in the train cabin out first, you deserve to be knocked down by a smelly, sweaty, giant man with huge man-boobs.

4. If you do not move to the center of the train, you deserve to be sodomized by a horny blue whale and wear a tag so that we understand your plight that you cannot move around much.

5. If you will not give up your seat to a pregnant lady or a senior citizen, have the courage to at least PRETEND that you are fast asleep. Stop looking at the lady’s stomach and mentally weighing it against your beer belly and deciding who has the heavier load.

6. The vertical poles in the train cabins are for passengers to hold onto with their hands. If you lean on them with your whole body, I might need to separate your left butt cheek from your right to secure a holding spot and I do not have that much Dettol to cleanse my hand afterwards.

7. If you are blasting your choice of music through your phone speakers, please make sure that your taste in music is at least accepted by 70% of the people who are within earshot. If you are not sure how you can figure that out, please purchase a device called “ear-phones”.

8. The fare you pay for travelling on the MRT entailed you to a limited space. If you need space to hold a copy of The Straits Times fully opened in front of you during peak hours, consider buying an EZ-Link card for the newspaper as well.

9. If you fart or burp in a an MRT cabin, have the courtesy to say ‘excuse me’. If you think people will get angry over it, have the habit of laughing like a hyena as soon as you fart. I can assure you that it will be more amusing than anything.

10. Do not scold me if the train is packed and I am poking your butt from behind. The one who you should scold is the one who is poking my butt. Don’t ask me to push back as well because it will seem as though I am reciprocating.

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Someone I am following on twitter also rightly pointed out that,

“Why is it called the RUSH HOUR, when everything SLOWS to a CRAWL?“
(Please claim your twit as I forgot who said it..)