Tag Archive for 'funny'

The Things KuKuNehNeh Say When Stressed

KuKuNehNeh has been quite stressed with her new job recently. She is not a ‘numbers’ kind of person and she is also not suited for a desk bound job. It certainly is a joke to have those two elements in her current appointment. It also doesn’t help that she has been working OT very frequently for the last couple of weeks.

One such friday, during our late dinner after her OT, she called out to me,

“Eh, Jac!”

“What did you just call me?”

Both of us burst into laughter as she realized she addressed me using her lady friend’s name.

Soon, she started to relate her day at work and said something along the lines of,

“Wah! Today really mad like rush…”

What is mad like rush? Rush like mad lar dear!”

WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


Back at home when she was about to sleep, she wanted me to turn on the table lamp.

“Dear, can you help me turn on the side lamp table?”

“Dear…… it’s called the side table lamp.”

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This is what happens when she gets all stressed up. Poor girl. I love her to bits and feel helpless when she is stressed out like that. But we still laugh at such moments… at her expense of course! :lol:

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Kristy Strikes Again in mIRC

Due to the popular demand from the previous time, Kristy^ is back!

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If Singaporean Aunties Ruled The World

If Singaporean aunties ruled the world:

Shopping is a high paying career. Pay is determined by the ability to Outwit, Outplay, Outlast the other shoppers.

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Available seats on public transport for humans is cut down by half. The adjacent seat is always used to put your groceries.

Gossiping is a national sport. Points are determined by knowledge. (eg. You know that the drink stall’s owner son’s girlfriend’s cousin’s mother-in-law’s plumber is gay.)

Granny panties are HAWT.

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The MRT yellow queue lines do not apply to aunties.

Hokkien replaces English as the international language.

Aunties get an international 90% discount card.

Discount card can be even used to buy from peddlers selling 3 X tissue for $1.

Public affection of couples is punishable by death.

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Change the definition of “Beauty”

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Why I Shouldn’t Order Food When Dazed…

I was at Sentosa today with Ruifang’s family today. Unfortunately, there is no pics of her or me in a bikini. I know you guys are dying to see me in one. “See liao will puke blood and die

After spending half a day in the sweltering sun, my brain gets wonky and such. If you are wondering why do I need to explain for being dazed. Well…….

I was at a Halal Beef noodle store, operated by Muslims wearing Tudongs.

Remember these key words, Halal, Beef, Muslim and Tudong.

Ruifang: “Auntie! Two beef kway teow soups”

Malay Auntie: “Okay! Eating here?”

Me: “Yes!”

(After a while, she grabs a piece of meat with a tweezer and shows it to me.)

Auntie: “Want stomach?”

Me: “Pig stomach?”

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RIGHT AFTER I said that, my mind realized that this is a HALAL store, they serve BEEF and I can SEE MUSLIMS wearing TUDONGS cooking the food.

Paiseh to the MAX :oops:

What is wrong with me? All the sun’s fault!

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Anal deaths amongst other things

I stumbled across this page in wikipedia through digg and found it rather funny, interesting, amusing and sad at times.

The list of unusual deaths on wikipedia shows a chronological list of unusual deaths from as early as 876BC till the present.

My findings after scanning through the list is as follows:

People in the middle ages like to kill by thrusting stuffs through the anus

1016: Edmund II of England died by having a sword thrust in his anus by the soldiers of King Canute while using a primitive latrine.
1322: Humphrey de Bohun, 4th Earl of Hereford was fatally speared through the anus by a pikeman hidden under the bridge during the Battle of Boroughbridge.
1327: Edward II of England, after being deposed and imprisoned by his Queen consort Isabella and her lover Roger Mortimer, was rumored to have been murdered by having a red-hot iron inserted into his anus.

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Clinton wasn’t as unlucky as this French President in 1899.

1899: French president Félix Faure died of a stroke while receiving oral sex in his office.

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Laughter may not be the best medicine

207 BC: Chrysippus, a Greek stoic philosopher, is believed to have died of laughter after watching his drunk donkey attempt to eat figs.

1410: Martin I of Aragon died from a lethal combination of indigestion and uncontrollable laughing.

1599: The Burmese king Nanda Bayin reportedly “laughed to death when informed, by a visiting Italian merchant, that Venice was a free state without a king.

1660: The Scottish aristocrat, polymath and first translator of Rabelais into English, Thomas Urquhart, is said to have died laughing upon hearing that Charles II had taken the throne

1975: On 24 March 1975 Alex Mitchell, a 50-year-old bricklayer from King’s Lynn literally died laughing while watching an episode of The Goodies. According to his wife, who was a witness, Mitchell was unable to stop laughing while watching a sketch in the episode “Kung Fu Kapers” in which Tim Brooke-Taylor, dressed as a kilted Scotsman, used a set of bagpipes to defend himself from a psychopathic black pudding in a demonstration of the Lancashire martial art of Ecky-thump. After twenty-five minutes of continuous laughter Mitchell finally slumped on the sofa and expired from heart failure.

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Probably the 1st Wii induced death

2007: Jennifer Strange, a 28-year-old woman from Sacramento, died of water intoxication while trying to win a Wii console in a KDND 107.9 “The End” radio station’s “Hold Your Wee for a Wii” contest, which involved drinking large quantities of water without urinating. She placed second in the contest.

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Can’t help but laugh at his death

458 BC: The Greek playwright Aeschylus was killed when an eagle dropped a live tortoise on him, mistaking his bald head for a stone. The tortoise survived.

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