k r i s a n d r o

I woke up this morning to the sound of birds chirping outside my window. Rubbing my eyes as I stood at the window, I was amazed to find a rainbow as clear as a footpath leading from somewhere in the distance to my window sill.

The birds saw me and started to chirp in the tune of Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours” and I heard the distinct sound of a horse neighing in the distance. True enough, a horse with white shimmering skin galloped from a distance, across the rainbow, and towards the direction of my window. I stood in shock and was rooted to the ground when I realized that it was actually a unicorn.

In a flash the unicorn flew through my window and into my room. All the animals started to follow the unicorn to where it stood in my room: birds, tigers, lions, monkeys, dogs, cats, squirrels, hamsters, rabbits, luohan fishes and some lizards.

The magnificent unicorn open its mouth in preparation to speak and these are the words that came out,

……………………

………………

………….

……..

….

“WAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!!!!”

And after the laughing, the unicorn started to spear all the animals with it’s horn and humongous unicorn penis.

Happy April’s Fool everyone!

It’s the Hungry Ghost Festival (HGF) again! I always wanted the gahmen to acknowledge it as a public holiday. If the Chinese New Year can get us 2 days of holidays, the month long HGF should give us around 3 to 5 days worth of holidays! WOOO HOOOOOOO!

The most intriguing part about the HGF is the burning of offerings for the ghosts. I don’t know about China or the Chinese in other countries but here in Singapore, our ghosts get stuffs like tons of money, gold ingots, clothing, hand-phones, makeup, houses, luxury cars with chauffeurs and MORE money. If all these really work, most of the ghosts get tons and and tons of money! But the thing is, if every ghost gets around $172,527,192,027,000 every time someone burns hell notes for them, the stuffs in hell are probably bloody expensive.

A can of coke costs about $1.20 here but in hell, it probably costs about $1,200,000.

How does a ghost receive the money anyway? Is there a ghost bank that will magically store the money into the accounts of the ghosts? Or will the money just appear right in front of them? If it does? How do they go about keeping the money?

Won’t you like to know?

KuKuNehNeh (KKNN) has this amazing ability to remember most of her dreams in vivid detail. I am always amazed whenever she recounts the events from her dreams in such details I do have other friends who has this ability and they are all female.

Coincidence?

For me, I hardly remember most of my dreams except for some that occurred when I was younger which are either too troublesome to type or too R21 to publish. Most of the time I would wake up with some memory of the dream and forget it as soon as I proceed with my daily activities.

Anyway, KKNN told me of this dream she had recently and it is so weird that I have to share it to the best of my memory.

.

KKNN was out on the beach with a bunch of her friends (I asked her if I was there and she wasn’t sure. WAHAHAHAHAA). She looked out into the sea and noticed a friend was in the waters. The friend was waving back and there was a shark which was very close to her. KKNN frantically waved back to her and warned her of the shark while making all sorts of hand gestures. KKNN and her friends noticed that the tide was rising rapidly and they hurried further inshore to stay away from the water and the shark.

They came to a hole in the ground with a spiral staircase leading downwards. Ignoring the plea from her friend that it might be dangerous, KKNN made her way down the stairs and found a place that looked like a factory (Although it sounded illogical to be hiding under the ground when there is a potential flood, KKNN claimed that the place is sealed from the water).

After waiting for awhile, she knew that the danger was over and she went to the same staircase that lead upwards. A friend of hers was at the staircase and said,

“Don’t go up.”

“Why?” KKNN asked.

“A lot of people died.”

“Who?”

“16 Bloggers.”

.

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAA!!! Don’t ask me why she dreams of such stuff.

[ad]

After creating a testimonials page for my blog, I saw this ad appear on my sidebar.

.

Google, is that what you really think of my blog?

LOL