k r i s a n d r o

I don’t know if anyone shares the same views as me on this one, but I generally find that male bloggers have it tough compared to female bloggers. Since there is such a wide range of blogging styles, let me tie the success of a blogger by his/her traffic. Of course there are other factors that can determine the success of a particular blogger but let’s face it…

NO TRAFFIC NO TALK!

If someone on the street asks you, “Name me 3 top bloggers in Singapore.” How many of you people will actually name 3 guys or even 2? I think there will be some of you who won’t even name one.

[Image from here]

Why is it so? Are women better bloggers than men? What defines ‘better’?

What brings in the traffic? Someone who writes insightful posts in perfect English or a looker who post pictures and cannot write for nuts?

Go look at the blogs that you guys bookmarked or subscribed and tell me if it isn’t female dominated. If you have nuffnang polls, look at it and tell me if it isn’t female dominated readers.

First, let’s define success of a blog again. It’s largely based on popularity and popularity = traffic. And high traffic does NOT MEAN that a blogger writes well. In fact, I feel that there is a misconception in some people that blogging = writing. So to these people, they feel sick to their toes when they see female blogs full of camwhore-d pictures and little writing and these bloggers have enormous amounts of traffic. Many of these bloggers who enjoy relatively high traffic are often ridiculed by people but the amazing thing is…

Most people who dislike popular female blogs still visit them.

Do people who dislike popular male blogs still visit? Yes! But not as much as the former.

Let me just quote an example. I visit Dawn Yang’s blog often even though I think little of her writing. If you ask me to list a blog post that she wrote about, I really cannot remember anything she wrote. I only visit her blog to look at her pictures. My eyes automatically disregards all the text in her entries. I know many who dislikes her but still visits her.

Why oh why? It’s because the measure of a ‘popular’ blog is not by one’s writing.

It’s measured by how ‘interesting’ it is. And it doesn’t matter if you are an life, insightful, entertainment, food, pRon, LINKster(bloggers who scours the internet for links) or camwhore blogger. Whatever genre you are in, if you are interesting, traffic will come.

Now, let me paint you guys a situation. Let’s compare two imaginary bloggers.

1. Blogger A – Male, plain looking, writes about his mundane life.
2. Blogger B – Female, plain looking, writes about her mundane life.

If you had to choose between the two, who would you visit more often? I can name another 10 examples and most people will choose to read the female blog.

In reality, regardless of gender, people in general just like to visit female blogs more. It’s just the way it is. There are always exceptions but you simply can’t deny the fact that female bloggers tend to get a bigger chunk of the traffic.

Female bloggers are more interesting and hence more popular and there is nothing wrong with it!

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ACCEPT IT!

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And guys suck at camwhoring by the way.

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…Like me…

KuKuNehNeh loves cooking for family and friends. She loves it when people she cooks for enjoys the food and are appreciative of her effort. Having nobody dying yet from her food also makes her pretty credible.

WAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA!!! (She’s gonna kill me…)

The truth is, she is quite the cook. She doesn’t have the vast amount of recipes like my Mum has yet nor the chopping skills of YAN CAN COOK! SO CAN YOU!, but she has the right passion and love for cooking. It’s hard to find a girl who can cook these days you know! They are such a rare species these days that KuKuNehNeh might be labeled ‘Endangered’ in a few years time. I don’t want to end up visiting her at the Zoo, so can you ladies learn how to cook please!

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WAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA!!! (She’s REALLY gonna kill me…)

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We had our share of fun out BBQ-ing and bowling on Sunday already and we decided to spend Monday at home. Waking up at around 11am like the pigs we were, she went to wash up and worked hard at preparing the meal for the both of us. Seeing her so hard at work, I could not just STAND BY AND WATCH.

So, I stayed in the aircon room and played with the computer.

WAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA!!! (I am so dead…)

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After an hour plus of ‘battle’ in the kitchen, this is what she came up with. (Since these are from KuKuNehNeh, I can name it whatever I want!)

Dish #1: Flied Lice Velly Nice

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Dish #2: Buddha Jumps Over the Wall and Lands On His Face

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Dish #3: Shrimpy Decabbagelicious

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Dish #4: Fries Lor

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My favorite dish would have to be Shrimpy Decabbagelicious. It was probably the easiest to prepare but I love the simplicity of the taste and how well it goes with the Flied Lice Velly Nice.

KuKuNehNeh’s favorite will have to be the Fries Lor. She loves soggy fries unlike me. I always argue with her over McDonald’s that fries are MEANT to be CRISPY. Why? Imagine a fast food commercial on your TV with a sexy male voice saying, “Come! And try our delicious SOGGY fries!”. Doesn’t make sense right? Fries should be CRISPY!

Of course she ignores me and continue poking at every fries on the tray till she gets all the soggy ones and I get all the crispy ones with a finger dent on it.

I was still delighted with all her efforts and then proceeded to do a happy dance before I wash the dishes.

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Actually, the dance isn’t related to the food lar. But I just find it amusing and so it’s here.

Thank you KuKuNehNeh for all the effort in whipping up the delicious dishes!

In the 1st part, I shared with you guys on how to get the 10/10 woman’s number. Now you have her number and she doesn’t have yours. Being in this situation, what would you do?

1. Call her immediately to see if the number is correct.

2. Call her that very night.

3. Call her the very next day.

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[Image from Flickr]

WRONG! Seeing is that she is a hot 10/10 woman, she probably got 10 guys or more who tried to pick her up that day. And let’s just be optimistic and say that 5 out of the 10 (including yourself) manage to get her number. How many of the 5 will call her within 48hrs? All the other 4 would, most of the time. But you! You are different, because you have been enlightened by krisandro and his crap!

Call her only after a week or slightly less. Why? Because, after 2 days the 10/10 would have gotten calls from the other predictable 4 guys. In the next few days, she would be wondering, “Hey, why didn’t the 5th guy call me?”. She may not think of you THAT often, but having just ONE thought, makes her think of you without you doing anything at all. By this time, her interest would have risen a little bit because you are different and a little mysterious. Do take note that it is also important to not wait THAT LONG. If you call her 5 years later, thinking that she will salivate over the phone for you, please wake up your ducking idea.

The next point might be harder to accept. We all know that most girls LOVE to chat over the phone. Most guys bank on that idea and try to charm a woman over the same medium as well. The truth is, studies have shown that ‘communication’ is 55% visual (body language & eye contact), and 38% is vocal (pitch, speed, volume, tone of voice) and words you use are only a measly 7%.

What does this mean to you? It means that if you talk to her over the phone and you have PERFECT vocal skills and FLOWERY vocabulary and score a 100% on both terms, you will still fail on the overall. Because, the two terms I mentioned only make up 45% of ‘communication’.

The best thing you can do when you manage to call her is to do the following.

1. Say your name and hope that she remembers you.

2. Jog her memory a little if she doesn’t

3. Ask her out on a dinner date on WEEKDAYS. (Fridays count as weekends)

4. Offer a specific date and time.

5. If she agrees on that date, end the call politely.

6. If she disagrees, wait for her to counter-propose.

7. If she doesn’t, propose another day.

8. If she rejects it as well, end the call politely with no hints of calling back.

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Let me explain further on the few points. The reason why you only ask a woman out on weekdays for the 1st few dates is because almost everyone values weekends more than weekdays. Weekends are usually for close ones like family, friends or love interests. By asking her out on a weekday, you don’t threaten her plans and increase the possibility of her being free enough to go out with you.

The point of asking her out on a specific date and time is to show your confidence and to reduce her thought process. If you ask open ended questions like, “Hey, WHEN are you free ah?”, she will think about a lot more stuffs other than her schedule. If she rejects your first offer, pause and wait for her to speak. If she does counter-offer, it shows that she is genuinely not free and wants to offer another date. Lots of men try too hard and sound like,

“Tomorrow not free ah? How about Tuesday? No? Wednesday? Thursday leh? FRIDAY CAN? PLEASE?“

Of course she might not counter-propose and you should try ONE more time. But that’s it. If she still rejects your second proposal for a date and time, end the call politely. If you really want to try again, do it again after a week or less to show that you have determination but not desperate enough to call her the very next day.

If you played this right, and she agrees to the date and realize that she still doesn’t have your number after the call. Good for you! Call her again on that dinner date itself to confirm the date and give her your number, so that you don’t stand in the middle of Bugis Junction looking like an idiot. If she asks for your number on the 1st call, its okay as well. But now, she has some means to think about it and may reject you easily with just an sms.

[Image from Flickr]

Scoring the 1st date is just a small step towards the goal of having her as your girl. I may blog about the “Do’s and Don’ts of Dates” when I feel like it. Meanwhile, you all can stutter and stumble your way around. :p

Oh and by the way, don’t hate the girls who say ‘No’ to you that early. Be grateful that you get rejected early than having her hover around and wasting your time with you thinking that you got a chance. Recognize the signs that she isn’t interested in you and move on.

First of all, I have to say that I am by no means a love guru nor a player who is speaking from experience from bedding all the hot babes from Tuas to Changi. I am just a guy who loves to read a lot on the psychology of humans and especially on BGRs.

[Image from Flickr]

The title should have been ‘Tips On How To Tackle The Elusive Beautiful Woman’ but to me, beauty comes from within and its not about looks. For example, KuKuNehNeh is definitely not a 10/10, but she is beautiful to me. My mum may be old and wrinkled but she is the most beautiful woman I know. So, when I say ‘pretty’, I do mean the ladies that are rated 8 to 10/10 on the looks factor. Of course I do recognize that every woman is different and the following might not work on the 10/10 girl and work on the 3/10 girl instead.

Once again, I will like to emphasize that the following information you are about to digest are of bits and pieces of my reads and observations and not of my own personal experience.

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So, you met this hot looking girl at a club, the gym, at your workplace, the pool or even your HDB void deck. One look and you immediately rate her as a 10/10. You would die if you didn’t get to know her. What would you do?

1. Go up to her and deliver your cheesy pickup line. “Did anyone ever tell you that the stars are in your eyes?”

2. Write your number and name and pass it to her without saying much.

3. Secretly take her picture and bring the photo to a bomoh to cast a love spell.

Unfortunately, the 3 methods won’t work 99% of the time, unless you are a 10/10 guy to her as well. Even then, she might not even give two flying ducks about the 10/10 guy.

The 10/10 girl is a creature that have been complimented all her life. She has been bombarded with praises from all sorts of people and men have been pouring in numbers just to know her first name. So, if you are just a regular dude, how do you rise above the competition to even get to know her, much less to win her heart?

First, guys need to understand the reality factor. A 4/10 guy will have little or no chance getting a 10/10 girl. Before all you people that go, “But Kris! LOOKS DON’T MATTER!” start to flame me, please look around yourself. Everyone who is with another always have looks that are within range of each other. Of course there will be exceptions of couples who resemble ‘The Beauty & The Beast’, but that is such a small minority till the point of insignificance. Reality is, everyone, whether consciously or unconsciously, has a MINIMUM standard in how you want your other half to look.

Of course, every guy might over or under-estimate your looks factor and it’s not wrong to just try anyway. The secret about trying is not about methods but about giving up and moving on to the next target when you know the 10/10 is not interested in you.

When you do approach the 10/10 or any other female for that matter, she will immediately size you up even BEFORE you speak. On a scale of 100% in terms of interest, she will put you somewhere around the middle if you are lucky.

[Image from Flickr]

What do you say next? A simple ‘Hi’ will do really. Frankly, most pickup lines suck anyway. And you will actually decrease her interest level if you tried to deliver some funky line. Imagine if she doesn’t understand it the first time and your confidence plummets as you deliver it a 2nd time. If she is pleased at what she sees, a ‘Hi’ will do. If she thinks you look like shit with legs, it doesn’t matter if you can charm a corpse to rise from a grave.

Do not offer your name if you can. Chat her up with something related to the place or whatever she is doing. Keep it light and work on her answers if you can. Have her talk more then you. Girls hate it when you interrogate them as though you are filling a questionnaire. If she keeps answering your questions with one word answers, game over. If she is still not interested enough to ask for your name, you can ask now with the ‘I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine’ method.

“Hey, my name is Ah Kow, And you are….?”

Now, do not spend too much time talking with her till she wants to end it before you do. Chat her up, have her tell you her name or ask for yours first if able. End the conversation yourself by saying that you have to leave and ask for her number. Some women will say no, others will ask why, some will even ask for yours instead and refusing to give theirs.

Do not give them your number. Ever. It will most probably end up in the 1st rubbish bin she sees when you are out of her sight or in a recycling bin if she is eco-friendly. This is the last ‘test’ you can do on her to gauge her interest level on the 1st encounter. If she doesn’t want to give it to you. Don’t grovel and beg or ask why. Just be polite, say it’s alright, thank her for the conversation and walk away. If you got her number and she asked for yours, be cheeky and say, “No. I’ll call you.” and leave with a smile.

Congratulations, you got her number and you said ‘No’ to the 10/10 girl who hears ‘Yes’ 90% of her life.

Stay tuned for, “You got her number, what next?”