Aug 25 2008

My Greatest Childhood Fear

I got inspiration for this post from Wishbone who tagged me with a post called ’5 Scaries for Kids’. I never respond to tags but I shall blog about my greatest fear as a child.

I thought for sometime about what fears I had as a child and I almost couldn’t think of any. Not that I am fearless but I conquered my fears whenever I had any as a child. I was once afraid of heights but I forced myself to look down over ledges whenever I could. I was afraid of the dark and ghosts but I made myself walk through the kitchen and to the toilet in darkness. I am trying to recall the mentality that I had that made me want to conquer those fears. I think I was influenced by all the comics I read when I was young and a lot of them had a hero who faced their weaknesses and came out stronger.

super wendy
Every Hero has their weaknesses…. and bad wardrobe days.

 

So in a way, the hundreds of dollars I’ve spent as a child on comic books didn’t go to waste after all! There was lessons to be learnt in between the pages of over-sized boobies found on female manga characters!

There was one fear that I couldn’t get rid of and it probably will stick with me throughout my life. The fear of death. Not mine but of people whom I care about.

It’s kinda dark for a child to think of such things but I was like that as a child. I would ponder about the meaning of life and my imaginative mind will somehow imagine scenarios if loved ones like my mother died. These moments will usually come in the dead of the night before I go to sleep and tears will stream down my face as my mind plays out the scenario. Kinda wimpy for a boy but I get so involved in those imaginations to the point where it seems so real.

I breakdown whenever I attend a funeral and see someone in tears. I just feel so sorry for the people who have to live with the absence of their loved ones.


May 30 2008

You Pingsters Deserve an Explanation

I am breaking many of my personal rules here, but here I am posting another community related post about Ping. I need to address a few issues about my last post, and this will be the last time I am talking about it as a post on my blog.

To address some points that Endoh pointed out and other comments left on the blog, I have the following to say.

Before Daphne spoke to me over msn on this matter, I was already aware that at least 2 people were openly disliking the level of interest in the mundane topic of Daphne’s crush. I DIDN’T CARE, because I am in for the believe that everyone has a right to like or dislike topics or blogs as long as they don’t declare war over it. Like what Uzyn said,

“Everyone’s unique. Every bloggers are unique. Ping.sg is started not as an aggregator for smart bloggers, nor is it started as an aggregator for immature bloggers. It’s started because of blogs and bloggers of Singapore.

Everyone’s unique, and every bloggers have their own readerbase, even before Ping.sg. Ping.sg gives the bloggers a chance to exchange each others readership and naturally, a reader who likes to read sports blogs wouldn’t like to read a fashion blog, but that doesn’t mean the fashion blogger IQ is lower or anything.

Let’s open our arms and accept that all of us are bloggers (I know I’m becoming less of a blogger now due to the inactivity of my blog, paiseh) and all our blogs are unique in one way or the other, ok?
:)
Anyway, here’s a promise. As long as I am able to (unless gahmen say i kenot), Ping.sg will always remain neutral, open and free. That’s my goal and my dream, and I’m sure most Pingsters’ goal and dream as well.”

I believe in that vision and that’s why I don’t care about the indifference towards such topics. Only when Daphne told me she felt really affected by it was when I got very upset. I got upset because, it’s the core community that is affecting her. And I do believe that these people are actually friends with Daphne and they really shouldn’t hurt her like that.

I also agreed in my post that Daphne SHOULDN’T be so affected by it as everyone is entitled to their own opinions!

Now it comes to the part where Endoh and anyone else asks,

“Where is the evidence? Give us names!”

I didn’t care on gathering evidence nor screenshot the shoutbox or twitters as I already know the displeasure of a few people towards the ‘shallow’ topics. Moreover, I regard some of them as friends and my post isn’t about pointing out individuals. If I wanted to do that, I would have approached them through private ways.

Then some say,

“If they are your friends, then why are you trying to attract attention through such a title and make a big fuss over it?”

I used my blog to express my opinion about them because it isn’t my business to approach them about the matter in the 1st place and I would rather voice my views at them while preserving their anonymity. And to those who think I am trying to attract attention or raise my popularity with such a posting, I’m afraid you are right.

Right in the sense that I am a blogger and my posts are made public. I want high readership like any self respecting blogger who admits to it. BUT, I am like what a few mentioned in the comments for the last post.

“I don’t care much for being in the top 10.”

That is true for me as well but I will like to elaborate it so that it is more correct. I did mention to Wishbone sometime back that people with good content who are not ‘popular’ in Ping need not worry. Those with good content will eventually have a fanbase. Why? Because eventually, it’s the content that makes people bookmark/subscribe/visit your blog. If a blogger has poor content and constantly misleads people with his/her title, he won’t get much traffic on days where he doesn’t blog and also in the long run. And I do believe that I have a group of readers that may be relatively small, but they enjoy what I write mostly. Ping and tomorrow.sg may have been two of the driving forces behind my websites growth, but I don’t need to whore myself to get reads. If I manage to get into the top 10, then it’s just a bonus. The loyal readers will still come to appreciate my posts.

The last post was lousy content in my own opinion, why the hell do I want attention to such a post to ‘raise my popularity’. I had common sense to think that the so called ‘popularity’ would actually dip because of it. But I still wanted to say my peace because I have an opinion and I am not afraid to say it with tact.

And if you think it wasn’t with tact, you’ll be amazed at what I really had in mind.

It’s weird but I think the word ‘shallow’ also affected more serious bloggers than the ‘shallow’ ones. I think I could have stepped on a sensitive spot somewhere. I do admit on hindsight that it could be wrong to label it as ‘shallow’. Maybe ‘mundane’ would have been a more tactful word.

In conclusion, I admit that I am shallow(like always… but i am extremely proud of it), I might have mislead people to think that I am waging war against certain people. But there is nothing I disagree on when I look at the post over and over again. I may have been seen as being exaggerated or making groundless accusations but I still stand true to my opinions.

Sorry if you still want me to post pics here and there and to link here and there to point fingers. I still won’t do it because it wasn’t my main purpose in the 1st place. My biggest point is still,

“There is nothing wrong with shallow bloggers/posts/topics. Good content can still come from it.”

I know I could have unwittingly created discomfort or discord amongst certain bloggers but so be it. If the relationships are that fragile, I don’t think the affected bloggers should be sad of losing a friend or two. And I still welcome and cherish whatever friends that I have made in wonderful communities like Ping.