k r i s a n d r o

One of the perks (or bane) of living in such a heavily populated country like Singapore is the fact that we can be almost anywhere and hear conversations of strangers even if we don’t want to.

I was on the train with KuKuNehNeh (KKNN) on our way to Ang Mo Kio via the North South Line and somewhere along the trip, a group of 3 teenage girls boarded the cabin along with the 1,653,428,201,737 passengers that were already inside with us. They stood next to us and were talking pretty loudly and drowned most of the chatter around them. KKNN became very quiet and there is no prize for me to guess that she was listening intently at the girls conversation.

I cannot accurately replicate what they said but it went along something like this…

Girl A: “CHEE BYE LAR! I cannot stand it leh. CHEE BYE!”

Girl B: “What lar CHEE BYE?”

Girl C: “Angry for what CHEE BYE?”

Girl A: “Fucking CHEE BYE! I just cannot stand his CHEE BYE face lar! Chao CHEE BYE!”

Girl B: “Ya lar, I know lar… He is a one bloody CHEE BYE.

Girl A: “The next time I see his CHEE BYE face, I am going to slap his Chao CHEE BYE!!! Cheeeeeee Byeeeeee~~”

Most Singaporeans will be very appalled by the use of their language but I am thoroughly amused. ‘Chee Bye‘ is just a Hokkien word for ‘Vagina‘. So, the above dialogue actually goes like….

Girl A: “VAGINA! I cannot stand it. VAGINA!!”

Girl B: “What VAGINA?”

Girl C: “Angry for what VAGINA?”

Girl A: “Fucking VAGINA! I just cannot stand his VAGINA face! Smelly VAGINA!”

Girl B: “Ya, I know… He is a one bloody VAGINA.

Girl A: “The next time I see his VAGINA face, I am going to slap his Smelly VAGINA!!! Vaginaaaaaaaaaaa~~”

Not much of a foul conversation anymore is it? WAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!

I am serving my first In-Camp Training (ICT) this week as an National Serviceman (NSman) and it’s been a wealth of emotions and feelings leading up to Monday and the completion of the first day in the camp.

1 year and 3 months have passed since I left the Air Force as a regular and the stressed job of being an Air Traffic Controller. The memories of the 4 and a half years spent in the service still lingers in the recesses of my brain (whatever is left of it).

I need approximately 2 hours to travel via public transport from my home to my squadron in the east and I wanted to rest early. I tried to sleep from 12 midnight and could only doze off into a semi-conscious state at around 3am because I stressed myself out from thinking of all the situations in difficult controlling situations.

Besides the insane amount of travelling time, another big complaint I have is that I cannot bring any gadgets like my laptop, psp or my Nokia N95 into camp and that means ZERO entertainment for 4 hrs of travelling everyday and not being able to take any nap in the train ride as well. Wearing the Air Force uniform with officer epulettes and sleeping on the train is akin to shouting out loud,

“HEY!!!! I AM AN OFFICER! I AM TAKING A NAP! WHY DON’T YOU ALL TAKE A PICTURE OF ME SLEEPING AND POST A PIC TO STOMP???”

So, for the 1st time in a decade or more, I went to the library to borrow books to help me pass time in the train. BOOKS! I know people STILL read books but to me, that’s such a retro form of entertainment.

BOOKS! *rolls eyes*

The Singapore Slingers have a month before their next game on the 5th November against the Malaysian All-Stars and were all given a one week break. Nicholas took the chance to organize an outing with a few of the stars on the team and boy were we lucky! My favourite player, Eric Sandrin and the teams tallest player at 2.21m, Sam Harris, were free to accompany the bloggers for a night out in town!

The people in attendance apart from the basketballers were Mo, Nicholas, Hillary, Daphne, Molemole, Jason, KuKuNehNeh and if you haven’t realised by now….. myself as well.

Eric is a huge man himself who stands at 2.05m in height and already attract stares from the crowd with his presence. But when Sam arrived, he became an instant celebrity and if I get a dollar for every stare, jaw drop and photo request from strangers, I would have made quite a tidy sum from that day alone.

We decided to dine at Newton Food Centre and let them try out delicious stuff like Satay, BBQ Stingray, Kang Kong and delicious dessert like Cheng Teng, Chendol and Ice Kachang. We then drove to City Hall and took a long walk in the heat to the Esplanade and the Merlion and to Raffles MRT where they took a train back to where we started just for fun.

Eric and his girlfriend, Mo

Chopsticks that look like toothpicks in Sam Harris’ hands

Satay will be a million dollar business if he sells them!

This is how pathetic it is when a 1.77m tall Singaporean faces off with them

If you look closely, Sam cast a shadow ON THE CEILING!

Eric trying to sneak on the Merlion

MRT cabins were not built for people of their size

It was great fun hanging out with the basketball stars that day and they were extremely funny and friendly! I have to warn you people on the dangers of neck aches when talking to Sam Harris for extended periods. Wahahahaah!

Catch them in action on the 5th of November at the Indoor Stadium!

I am sure most of you people have noticed the new images on the MRT for ‘Priority Seats’.

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Think you all really know what each image represent? Judging from my observations of the people occupying those seats when the train is crowded, I’m afraid that your perception of the images are WRONG!

Let me educate you peeps.

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Is this image of an OLD MAN?

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WRONG!!!

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It’s….

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Give up the seat to a Pregnant Lady?

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WRONG!!!

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It’s….

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Could this be a Man with a Child?

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WRONG!!!

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It’s….

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So ladies and gentlemen, please do not be frustrated when you see young punks hogging the ‘Priority Seats’. These people cannot find Charlie Chaplin, extremely fat women and ventriloquists on the trains you see.

UNDERSTAND?