k r i s a n d r o

Everyone probably has some dream job(s) that they wanted from a young age. It could stem from parental or peer influence. It could have been from a hobby that you have or even from a show that you watched from TV. Some yearn to be the conventional ones like engineers, teachers, doctors and lawyers. Some hope to be the unconventional ones such as dancers, pro-gamers and erm.. pornstars.

NOT THAT I WANTED TO BE ONE OKAY? I am just listing down some examples.

*cough cough*

Anyway, some of the jobs that wanted when I was young are as follows.

I wanted to be a… Football Player!

My love for football started when I was 13 years of age. It all started with 4 – 5 guys kicking a plastic ball at a void deck and the gang soon grew to almost 20 people who played almost everyday at the basketball courts and the fields on weekends. I thought I was pretty good back then and went for a football trial for some semi-pro league team. It was then I realized that there were about 1,653,618,273,635 players on that day that were better than me. I hardly made any impact at all on the field and did some tricks that were more entertaining than practically useful. It was of no surprise that I went home with nothing but a bruised ego.

I wanted to be a… Model!

Well. This is an awkward one. WAHAHHAHAAHAHAA! During a certain period in my teens, I keep getting compliments from people I meet about my looks and I thought that modeling sounds like a pretty easy job. Let’s just say that reality hit pretty hard and fast for this dream of mine.

I wanted to be a… Teacher!

I want to teach classes with lots of hot students. All the sweet young things will all be clamoring over me while I brush them away while maintaining my suaveness. The sexy fellow teachers will also be yearning for my attention as I parade in the office. My Principal will have to be a MILF as well.

I wanted to teach children to better the world!

=D

So! What did you want to be when you were young?

If one were to write about the relationship between fitness and Krisandro, it would be of two lovers who constantly break up and patch together through the span of their lives. The start of the relationship is full of passion, excitement and anticipation. It gradually builds up over a few months to a peak of bliss and fulfilment but eventually, factors such as time and lack of novelty forms cracks in the relationship and it dies after a few months. And this cycle repeats every now and then as both of them realize the need for each other.

I am not that old, only at a young age of 16 18 21 27, but I am already feeling the ‘climb over the hill’. The metabolism that allows me to consume 7 pratas for breakfast and 3 servings of rice for dinner has left me and I now have the ability to grow fat. GROW FAT! It wasn’t so long ago when I complain about the inability to gain any weight with my 1.77m, 52 kg frame. Fast forward to now and I would stare at the McDonald’s menu and know that the Fillet O’Fish might be a better choice compared with the gut busting Big Mac.

I used to have a consistent exercise slot on Sundays where I would play football but I have since ‘retired’ from it due to ankle injuries. So I am left with choices like the gym and jogging. The gym is great for toning up the body but it is too out of the way for me. Jogging is the best mode of exercise I can get but my laziness makes it so inconsistent.

I used to jog this regularly!

.

I really got to start using my Nike+ system more often and jog regularly before I turn into a human lard in front of the computer.

I had this male Taiwanese friend in secondary school who was very good looking, intelligent, suave, athletic and had a great bod to boot. He was so good looking that girls squeal when he walks past and guys would gossip about him.

At that time, I was about 13 years of age when I knew him and I didn’t really notice all the buzz about him but a year later, we became closer friends and went out together with a bunch of guys. It was only on that day that I saw the power her had. He was about 2 or 3 years our senior and throughout the day, girls of all ages will stare at him and swoon. I am serious. Young girls will glance at him and turn to their groups and you can hear all sorts of compliments about his looks. Older women will try to act refined but you’ll see them steal glances at him now and then. To top it off, on that day itself, at least 3 different girls tried to pick him up.

GIRLS! In 1995! Picking up a GUY!!! That is already so rare in this day and age, much less in those times. He would react to those advances in the most nonchalant way, at most giving only a smile and a nod of the head and then look away. What will those girls do? THEY LIKE HIM EVEN MORE! They even approach us as though we were his minions and ask us,

“我可以认识你的朋友吗?” (Can I know your friend?)

From that day, I acknowledged his power and half wanted to kill him while half wanting to be him.

.

I for one, is not the good looking kind like the friend I mentioned. I was nerdy looking and had a ‘bowl cut’ hair. For those who don’t know what is a ‘bowl cut’ hair, it’s a hairstyle that looks as though the barber placed a bowl on top of your head and cut off your fringe from the edges.

What’s worse than looking like that in Sec 1? I was the SECOND SHORTEST guy in class, standing at 1.52m in height. In Sec 2, I grew to a height of 1.53m but the shortest guy in class outgrew me and so I was the shortest guy in Sec 2.

That guy’s name was Larry. Larry, being the shortest in class had to sit at the front of the class just like me. Larry sat closer the the OHP screen and was always the one jumping for that screen which he had to pull down before the projector can be used. So, for that whole bloody year, he jumped and jumped and before I could plot to chop his legs off, he was taller than me.

I remember taking over his duties in Sec 2, but you guys know how life likes to play jokes on me and I stayed short.

.

I started to grow only when I was 15 and I was crazily involved in soccer. Me and my friends would play soccer 6 days a week. Mondays to Fridays, we played street soccer at a basketball court near my house and on Saturdays, we would play on the field.

One weekday on the court playing football, I heard a female voice coming out of nowhere shouting,

“KRIS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!”

.

Me and my friends stopped play abruptly and asked each other if we heard the same thing. We were amused but we couldn’t find the source of the voice from where we stood and continued anyway. For the next few weeks, the same thing will happen every now and then. And a couple of times, I will spot a bunch of girls giggling and running away from the pillar they hid behind where the girl called my name. My friends deduced that they got my name easily because in soccer, names are always being called.

“KRIS! PASS THE BALL!”

“KRIS!! PASS THE DAMN BALL!!”

“KRIS!!! PASS THE DAMN BALL YOU F**KER!!!”

So, that was probably how the girl got my name.

WOOOOO!

Someone I don’t know is screaming my name! Maybe when I play soccer, I look like…..

[Image from nymag.com]

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I never got to see the face of the girl stalker as I was usually very engrossed in my game and wouldn’t bother to go chasing after her whenever she calls out for me. But one day as I was walking from the court towards my house, a voice came from a bush.

“KRIS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!”

I turned around to face the bush and stared at it for awhile.

I started to hear some giggles coming from it again and a younger voice screamed.

“KRRRRRISSSSSSSSSSS~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!”

I started to walk towards the bush and called out,

“Hello???”

At this point in time, there were probably 10+ kaypoh people standing in their kitchens, looking out at a giggling and talking bush and a boy walking towards the bush as though he wants to talk to it.

Before I reached the bush, 3 or 4 girls ran away in the opposite direction and I think I saw the face of the girl who was the amusing stalker as she was the only one that looked back at me.

From then onwards, she nor the girls ever did that again. I would like to think that she outgrew her crush on me but they probably got scared after seeing my face at close range.

WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

So, despite not being that good looking like my Taiwanese friend, I had one experience of being stalked and it was very amusing while it lasted.