k r i s a n d r o

I have always been skeptical of locally produced shows. The predictability of the script, the cheesy visuals, horrendous camera skills, half-baked acting & amateurish sound effects, just to name a few. And in some cases, especially in TV serials, I see ALL the bad elements I mentioned come together. It’s no surprise that I have not been watching any local TV show consistently and I seldom ‘risk’ buying tickets to a local show in the cinemas.

All thanks to molemole for telling me that Sheylara was giving out free tickets on behalf of Blog Aloud, I quickly emailed her and msn-ed her almost concurrently to enquire on the availability of two shows, ‘Money No Enough 2′ and ’12 Lotus’.

Luckily, there are still tickets available for ‘Money No Enough 2′ and I asked for a pair for the show at Vivocity on the 7th Aug. FREE tickets! Although I am skeptical of local productions, the lure of a free movie, the good impression of the first installment of ‘Money No Enough’ and Jack Neo were good enough reasons for me to go for it.

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I brought KuKuNehNeh (KKNN) along for the movie and boy, did we enjoy it! I wont reveal the story here as I HATE people who review movies and reveal the plots which totally spoils the movie experience. The script was predictable, the CG was cheesy although commendable for a local production and the advertising was too blatant for my liking. But Jack Neo did magic with the way he told the story. The issues he showcased were close to the Singaporean heart and channeled through incredible acting by the cast, especially through the malaysian actress, Lai Ming, who played the role of a mother in the movie. She was funny, she was believable, she made me tear. Credits to Mark Lee as well for he was the best performing local lad in the movie for me.

Jack Neo

Mark Lee

Lai Ming

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Jack Neo appeared in the theater after the credits rolled and his presence made the event even more worthwhile. He answered questions to the best of his ability and tried as much as he could to answer them in English. Molemole helped me and KKNN take a picture with him together at the end of the show.

I Had a Hand On Jack Neo And He Had His On My GF

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I know that the critics have been harsh on the movie but I think it is definitely worth the money for a movie that will tug at your heartstrings. Thanks again to Sheylara and Blog Aloud for the tickets.

Review of products and services were used to be left to the experts. But these days, with the introduction of services like Blog2U.sg and Yebber, bloggers are now tasked to do reviews for various things like gadgets, food, shops and etc. Popular bloggers are even headhunted to do reviews for various companies.

I am not famous enough to have companies approach me to do reviews but I need to practice so that when the time comes, I SHALL BE READY!!!

WARNING: All content after the following line are not to be taken seriously. Known side effects of believing what Krisandro says are the following: excessive question marks popping over one’s head; the urge to smash your monitor with the nearest family member you can find; detecting a foul odor that resembles shit that stems from the crap that Krisandro produces.

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Review of FP’s Soft White Facial Tissues

FP is a well known household brand that every Singaporean can identify with. And so it was with great pleasure when a spokesperson from FP called me up last week.

“Harlo?”

“Yes?”

“Is this er… er… KISS-SEND-DO?”

“Er…. its KRISANDRO.”

“Aiya, same same lar.”

“Who is this?”

“Ah! My name is Ah Kow! And I got good news for you.”

“Not interested…. KThxBye!”

*CLICK*

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A few minutes later….

“HARLO!”

“Yes?”

“AH KOW HERE! WHY YOU CUT THE LINE?”

“I don’t like telemarketers.”

“I AM NOT LAR! I am from FP! And we want to ask you to review a product!”

“Orh… say so earlier lar”

“MACIAM I GOT CHANCE TO SAY EARLIER.”

“Okay, okay… Anyway, why you all find me?”

“Oh… we compiled a list of the top 5,000 bloggers in Singapore and we approach the ones from the top lor.”

“Okay! Sounds good!”

“Yah… but we keep kena rejected by all of them. So I don’t wanna waste time. I called from the bottom instead lor. Last name was yours.”

*CLICK*

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Anyway, I accepted their offer eventually and got the product through the mail.

At first look, I found that the packaging was simple and everyone can carry the tissue around without being ashamed, unlike those cartoon-ish ones. It might be a little on the feminine side but there is a little gayness in everyone for the tissue paper to be accepted.

Next up was the probably the most important in any proper tissue paper review. The softness of the tissue paper. You don’t want to have a nice meal and then wiping your face with a tissue paper to only find out that the tissue paper is as soft as an industrial grade sandpaper.

[Image from here]

And since the word “Soft” is written with 50 pt font size on the packaging, it better be so.

After countless wiping of my mouth with the tissue paper, there was no signs of abrasion. I decided to take it a step further and dig my left nostril repeatedly with the tissue. I did not bleed nor had any abrasion but my left nostril seems to be larger than my right this morning. The things a blogger will sacrifice for a review for you readers. *Sigh *

Unlike some other companies who are boasting about their tissue papers being ’3-ply’, FP decided to stick with ’2-ply’ tissues.

I applaud their decision based on the following benefits.

1. The package is 33.333333333333333334% lighter than 3-ply tissues

2. It is much easier to FLING the lighter tissue paper on seats to CHOP seats

3. Using 2-ply tissue paper to dig your nose is less damaging than using 3-ply

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Every product always has a big claim on their products. Like “BEST IN THE WORLD”, “NUMBER #1 IN SINGAPORE”, “LEADING BRAND IN….” or “GUARANTEED TO….. IN 3 DAYS!”. FP is no different, and their claim on the tissue paper is that….

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… each package got 10 Sheets.

To make sure you readers don’t get cheated, I counted the number of sheets in the package for 254 times to make sure that they really had the amount that they claim.

They were honest.

In conclusion, FP made a great product with a very classy designed packaging. Users will find that the softness of the tissue paper will lose out to their 3-ply rivals but it makes up with its reduced weight. And most important of all, it delivered its promise.

10 Sheets. No More. No Less.

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Having spend a whole Friday being moody, I was pretty willing to go prawn fishing when Ruifang called me up at 10pm. Anything to get out of the house. I bet my neighbors plants were dying from my negative aura.

We had a group of 5 and Hai Bin U Enterprise Prawn Fishing at Bishan (Sin Ming Ave) was the place they decided upon. And I just found out that the popular prawning joint HAS A BLOG! Wow! Everybody is blogging! It’s time for the nice uncle at the mama shop downstairs to own a blog as well.

If you guys haven’t been at Hai Bin U before, or have not been down there for quite some time, you’ll be glad to know that they have expanded and they are housing more prawn pools.

After another 3 hrs of prawn fishing in my short prawning career, I am enlightened with the following.

1. Hotdogs and cockles are a couple of the best baits. Yes, Hotdogs!

2. Irritating Chao Ah Bengs are good at prawning.

3. The above makes them even more irritating.

4. Chao Ah Bengs are sometimes even better than some Singaporeans.

(One said “Solli !!! Solli !!!” after hooking my rod by accident. Some idiotic Singaporeans don’t even have ‘Sorry’ in their vocab.)

5. Don’t divide the amount of money you paid for the session with the amount of prawns you caught.

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If I did, each prawn last night was 4 DOLLARS AND 28 CENTS!!!

If Singaporean aunties ruled the world:

Shopping is a high paying career. Pay is determined by the ability to Outwit, Outplay, Outlast the other shoppers.

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Available seats on public transport for humans is cut down by half. The adjacent seat is always used to put your groceries.

Gossiping is a national sport. Points are determined by knowledge. (eg. You know that the drink stall’s owner son’s girlfriend’s cousin’s mother-in-law’s plumber is gay.)

Granny panties are HAWT.

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The MRT yellow queue lines do not apply to aunties.

Hokkien replaces English as the international language.

Aunties get an international 90% discount card.

Discount card can be even used to buy from peddlers selling 3 X tissue for $1.

Public affection of couples is punishable by death.

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Change the definition of “Beauty”

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