k r i s a n d r o

Before you continue reading this post. You will want to click here to read PART I and click here to read PART II.

I sleep. I open my eyes to find myself not being able to move. I check my surroundings. I encounter the force that pulls me up. I will myself down. I close my eyes to concentrate. I focus to move one of my arms. If I focus hard enough, I would wake up assured when I see my hand in front of my face. I go back to sleep. And sometimes, I will encounter it a few times the same night.
That was it? No.

There was one night when I lost the fight to keep my spirit down…

It was another night of immobilization. But this time, the force felt much stronger than before. And before I can gather more strength to keep my spirit in my body, my will gave in.

I can only recall ‘flying’ really fast into the sky and eventually into space. And I saw earth.

[Image from Nasa]

I am not joking. I was floating at this distance from earth and the next time that happened was waves and waves of images flashing in front of my eyes. I really can’t recall any of those flashes as it was such a long time go.

Once the flashes stopped. I started to plummet down back to earth and through the clouds I fell and I swear I saw the top of my HDB as I crashed back into my body.

I awoke into the real world with a jerk. I know many people including myself have this kind if feeling before. You awake from sleep with a jerk and felt as though you fell from a height. It was the EXACT SAME FEELING! Except that this time, I SAW the whole process!

This phenomenon soon stopped after I wore a ‘blessed band’ that my aunt got from a Chinese temple. And I don’t remember it ever happening again throughout these years.

Weird huh?

Was it real? I really don’t know.

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Before you continue reading this post. You will want to click here to read PART I.

My mind contemplated that it could be one of those dreams I had before in which I knew that I was dreaming. I closed my eyes as my heart pounded hard and willed myself to wake up and only opened my eyes to find myself still immobilized. Time and time again, I would close my eyes to will myself away from this ‘bad dream’.

I don’t know how many times I had to try before I managed to will myself out of that nightmare before I eventually woke up and heaved a sigh of relief. I then moved my limbs around to make sure that I am indeed in the waking world. Looking at the clock, definitely not more than 20 minutes have passed since I fell asleep, although it felt like an eternity in that nightmare. Feeling tired again, my fears from that experience weakened and I fell again into deep slumber.

Waking up in the morning, I did not think much into it and went about with my daily life. Unfortunately, it happened again on the second night. After falling asleep, I wake up to find myself immobilized again and I could see that my surroundings were as where I left it when I was awake. But this time, there was one thing that was different…

I felt an enormous force trying to pull me up. I realized that it was not my body that was rising, but what some call the ’spiritual self’. Not wanting to succumb to that force, I willed my spirit down and again I had to close my eyes to be able to concentrate on what I wanted to overcome.

[Image from astraldynamics.com]

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I fought with this force by sheer willpower to keep my spirit in my body and had to simultaneously will myself awake. Eventually, I did win the ‘fight’ and woke up without any problems.

If a bad dream happened once, I will forget about it soon enough. If it happened twice, it might be just stress. But THIS happened almost EVERY NIGHT for the next 3 MONTHS or so. As the occurrence increased, I begin to really doubt that it is just some nightmare.

Now that I think back, the reason that I did not tell anyone about my experience is because I was hoping that it would just go away. By telling someone about it, it was akin to acknowledging that it is NOT a nightmare and that would have really scared me to death. I would just go to sleep every night, hoping to not encounter it again. But it will just happen over and over and over again.

I do not know what will happen if I let the force lift my spirit away. Every night is like a battle for survival.

Having countless nights battling, I know that fatigue in my waking moments plays a big part. The more tired I am when I am before I sleep, the more likely I am to have that experience. It happens so often that it has almost become a routine.

I sleep. I open my eyes to find myself not being able to move. I check my surroundings. I encounter the force that pulls me up. I will myself down. I close my eyes to concentrate. I focus to move one of my arms. If I focus hard enough, I would wake up assured when I see my hand in front of my face. I go back to sleep. And sometimes, I will encounter it a few times the same night.

That was it? No. There was one night when I lost the fight to keep my spirit down…

Stay tuned for Part III(Finale)…

I might have blogged about this before in my old blog but since I am not sure, I might as well relate the experience again.

The memory of my out-of-body experience came back when I came across a thread at the Cowboy Bar talking about Ouija Boards. One said he had out-of-body experience after playing with the Ouija board and a few others had out-of-body experiences at some point in their lives without any contact with the Ouija.

I never thought that there could be a connection but I do recall now that I did play a version of the Ouija with my classmates in primary school. It was called ‘笔仙’ which is loosely translated as the ‘Pen Spirit/Deity’.

The layout that we used to play the ‘笔仙’ is much similar to the picture above and it was done by drawing the above on a piece of large drawing paper and a group of us would hold on to a pen or pencil together and ask any questions that we want. Apparently, a ‘force’ would guide the pen and circle the relevant letters to reveal the answer. For example, if you ask the ’spirit’ if you were gonna be rich when you grow up and the pen will then move to the ‘no’ on the paper and then circle it. Wahahahahahaa!

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A few rules that I remember were,

1. The pen MUST NOT leave the paper until it is done.

2. No person can release his/her grip on the pen until it is done.

3. Once everyone is done asking the questions, you MUST ’send the spirit home’ by asking it to go back and move the pen to the ‘home’. The last move is to use the pen to poke through the paper.

Kinda creepy eh?

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Before I relate my out-of-body experience, I would like to say that I am extremely NOT pantang. I don’t follow any religion and I am skeptical of almost everything that I can’t see, taste, hear, smell or touch.

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My ‘Out-Of-Body’ Experience

It was during the start of the Hungry Ghosts Festival during my secondary school years when I first experienced it. I used to sleep out in the living room on the mattress with a little green stool beside which had my alarm clock on it. It was late at night and I fell asleep. I opened my eyes to find that I could not move my body at ALL. The feeling was as if air solidified all around you and all you can do is move your eyes around to survey the surroundings. Fear gripped my heart as I realized that I may not be actually ‘awake’. I scanned around the living room and found nothing amiss. The blade-less ceiling fan was up there. My bolster is right beside me. The stool was on my left. And the clock was left where I did before I fell asleep.

My mind contemplated that it could be one of those dreams I had before in which I knew that I was dreaming. I closed my eyes as my heart pounded hard and willed myself to wake up and only opened my eyes to find myself still immobilized. Time and time again, I would close my eyes to will myself away from this ‘bad dream’.

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Stay tuned for Part II (I realized this story is too long for one entry. )

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