k r i s a n d r o

There was a recent buzz in Singapore over comments made by the leaders of the country, encouraging the usage of mandarin and saying that learning or maintaining of other languages; specifically dialects, hinders the learning process of children and thus preventing them from being proficiently bilingual in English and Mandarin.

Such comments (or any comment by the government actually) stirs the hearts of many Singaporeans, especially those who are fluent in English, Mandarin and other dialects in which they treasure.

I suck at mandarin and it’s no wonder, considering the environment that I was brought up in. My parents and relatives speak English dominantly and throughout school life, I formed a pretty high resistance towards learning Mandarin and it came to the point of hating the language during a certain phase. The reasoning behind leaving a trail of blank Mandarin spelling test papers and frustrated Mandarin teachers was that English is the world’s universal language. Why should I waste time learning Mandarin when I use English to answer 10 of my other subjects. My computer games were in English, newspapers and magazines were in English, most of my friends spoke in English, I use English if I met a foreigner or somebody of another race. Hell, I even think in English.

If I felt so strongly about not needing Mandarin in my life, imagine how dialects are to me. Dialects to me, were used to communicate with the older generation and the occasional swearing I need to have a place amongst the cool ah bengs and ah lians. Apart from that, there wasn’t much reasons to pick up dialects at all.

Some people argued about the statements of our leaders that if the older generation is able to be multilingual, why not the younger ones? Some lamented that dialects contain rich heritage and shouldn’t be allowed to die off. Some pointed at our roots and called shame upon us for not speaking the language of our forefathers.

Seriously, what’s the point of preserving more languages?

Frankly, I would prefer everyone in the world to just pick up one language as it improves consistency and it would really help us understand one another better. But in the real world, there is just too much culture and tradition in languages such as dialects. Having them die off may be a pity. And I do find myself in many situations when my lack of proficiency in Mandarin or Hokkien left me frustrated.

But, isn’t it easier to learn just one language that is widely adopted than to learn many?

Are the reasons for preserving languages more important than a step towards one, universal language for the sake of peace?

*insert Miss Universe music*

Nokia has officially launched their ‘Comes with Music‘ service in Singapore on the 27th February.

The service brings you unlimited downloads of music for 12 months from their ‘Comes with Music’ store, which boasts an extensive library of 4 million (and counting) tracks from huge music labels and even some asian labels such as Ocean Butterflies and Rock Records.

The catch for such a good deal is that you must own one of their ‘Comes with Music’ handsets. There are 6 of them as of now and they are the Nokia 5800 XpressMusic, Nokia 5320 XpressMusic, Nokia 5220 XpressMusic, N96, N85 and N79. Users can download from the ‘Comes with Music’ store right off most of the mentioned handsets or on their PCs through an application.

There is no subscription fee or download limit to speak of if you are wondering about that. Users can also keep their music after their 12 months of free, unlimited downloads.

I got to attend their media event held at Zouk prior to ‘Earn Your Stripes’ party thanks to the awesome folks at Text 100 who remembered that I am was an avid user of the Nokia N95 8GB. It’s kinda ironic attending a Nokia event based on that fact, seeing that I have move to the Apple iPhone after a decade of using Nokia products like the indestructable Nokia 3210.

Pictures of the event.

Funny Hosts – Vernon and Justin

The All-American Rejects who sat 3 feet from me!

The issue of DRM is pretty important for users like me and unfortunately, Nokia ‘Comes with Music’ isn’t DRM free. The good news is that Nokia is working to change that. If this is materialized, users will definitely benefit seeing that there isn’t even a hint of the Apple iTunes music store being made available to Singapore.

I still love Nokia and seeing Nokia bring a legal music download service to Singapore ahead of Apple, brings much joy to a Nokia fanboy.

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When news start to report of the world’s 1st pregnant man, many thought it to be a joke or a prank. As people start to dig further into this news, the truth started to reveal and it was in fact….

THE TRUTH.

Introducing…(drum roll), Thomas Beatie, the world’s FIRST pregnant MAN!!!

(Click to enlarge)

THIS IS NOT A JOKE. Not like the PSP story I cooked up.

Thomas Beatie WAS a woman and he is legally male and also married to a real woman named Nancy. Legally male, by doing chest reduction and testosterone therapy but he still kept his female genitalia.

In Singaporean terms the above means he chop off his neh neh, go inject girl girl essence and kept his ‘oyster’ because he don’t want to install a ‘kuku bird”.

Imagine years down the road when his child(it’s a girl) grows up and start to ask of his origins.

Child: “Mummy! I heard that children come from birds called stocks!”

Nancy: “YES MY DEAR!”

“STOP LYING TO ME YOU B***H!!!”

“Er…….”

“Mummy, I actually learn in school today that babies come from Mummies”

“Erm…. yes.”

“Do did I come from you?”

“Er… no.”

“Then from who?”

“From your Daddy actually.”

“So Daddy is actually Mummy?”

“Er… yes but not quite. I am your Mummy.”

“So I have TWO MUMMIES?”

“Yes!” (Wipes sweat)

“So…. Wheres DADDY?”

.

Jokes aside, I think he is very brave to step out and tell his story. Before you all start to judge and ask why he would do such a thing, he actually has a reason behind this. His wife Nancy, fell ill and is unable to concieve. He then stopped his medication and started to have menstrual cycles again. Doctor after doctor that they approached refused to do the insemination for them due to their religious beliefs. Relatives shunned them, people laughed at them. Only after a year that they manage to get an anonymous sperm donor and did the insemination themselves.

They did succeed but complications led to a life threatening event and resulted in losing his embryos and his right fallopian tube. His 2nd successful attempt resulted in the healthy girl that he is carrying now.

According to Perez, he is due to conceive on 3rd July and will be appearing on Oprah!

This is one of those ‘wierd but sweet stories’.

Thomas Beatie, I salute him…her… er… him?

(Can’t help taking one more swipe at her… er.. I mean him )

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NewScientist.com posted a study on the elusive G spot by a group of Italian researchers. After doing vaginal ultrasound scans on 20 women (of which 9 claimed that they experience vaginal orgasms and the remaining 11 that said they didn’t), scan results show that that the 9 women had thicker tissue in the urethrovaginal space.

You-WHAT-THE-WHAT Space??? LOL.

Anyway, the study builds further on the notion that most women do not have a G spot. And according to some studies, only 30% of women ever have orgasms during sex.

So ladies! Do not fret if your guy or *ahem* toy doesn’t give you vaginal orgasms. You might not have a G spot after all. Just stick to the clitoral ones.

And if your guy can’t even find your clit?

Well……. Use the methods below recommended by Krisandro. Results not guaranteed.

“Hey babe! Where did you say your clit was again? Lemme just mark it down on my map…..”

“Hey babe! How about you go for a shower 1st eh? I need to refer to my bookmarks…..”

“Hey babe! You wouldn’t believe this great idea I had when I saw this cucumber!!!”