Tag Archive for 'love'

Before My First Girlfriend…

Published
by
krisandro
on May 28, 2008
in My-Life
.

Not many know that I had my 1st girlfriend when I was in sec 4 at 17 years of age. Why was I 17? Because Krisandro super smart lar. Other people take 4 years to complete secondary school in the express stream and Krisandro took 5 years because he goofed around too much and had to repeat his Sec 3.

I digress. Anyway, before my 1st proper relationship, I have my share of crushes that made me do embarrassing stuffs.

The first crush that I can remember was for this distant relative (I think). I was probably no older than 9 to 10 years of age and she was a good 2 to 3 years older than me. I think for me, like most boys around that age, we do not really think much about members of the opposite sex. I KNEW they were different but I don’t understand what was. Too bad Youporn wasn’t around at that time. I could have gotten some online education.

Wahahahahahaa!!

My family and relatives were at a chalet at east coast. I was out of the chalet with the group of relatives when I suddenly remembered that I left something behind. I ran back to the supposedly empty chalet and barged into the room to only find that girl NAKED with her mother toweling her hair dry. I think the 3 of us stood in shock for awhile before I walked out and closed the door. The experience was so vivid that I would dream about the same scene occasionally during those times. It isn’t lust at that kind of age but I think I was pretty much into her for a year or two.

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The next one I can remember was in Pri 5 & 6 where I met this girl in my class and immediately ‘fell in love’ with her. I even remember her first name! She was called Liting and she lived only a blk away from me. I was so into her that my bolster was named after her! And there was this guy from my class that I think was called Weibang or something that was close to her. I was so bloody jealous at those times. LOL. Why? He was one of the smartest in class. THAT TWERP!

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The most memorable crush was definitely in secondary school. On the very 1st day in class, I immediately fell for her. Her name is safe to say here because I don’t think she reads my blog and it’s quite an open secret that I liked her back then anyway. She is called Chiumei and I later found out that she is a good 2-3 yrs my senior if I remember correctly.

On the very 1st assembly, a girl called Huishan and Aimei approached me out of the blue and said,

“Hello! You very cuteeee leh! Can you be our little brother?”

Standing at 1.42m tall in sec 1 and looking like a cartoon character, the two girls i mentioned were soon joined by most of the girls in my class. I had about 13 sisters soon after and Chiumei was one of them. For the next 4 yrs, I spent a lot of time watching from afar and jumped at every opportunity just to take a glance at her or walk by her. I just had NO guts to even try to ask her out.

My friends didn’t take long to realize my admiration for her and one dude by the name of Leslie drilled it out of me and decided to conveniently tell the rest about it and TO HER! I almost wanted to strangle him to death after finding out but my hands probably couldn’t reach his neck. I was 1.43m in sec 2 and he was probably 1.8m++ by then.

He did tell me one day that he asked her if she felt anything about me and this was what she said,

“Oh, Kris ah. I just treat him like a little brother lor.”

I think i mentally stabbed myself after that and cried at home like a gu-niang for a few days.

WAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!

I still carried a torch for her after that incident and never stopped my admiration till she graduated.

Last heard that she is married!

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Tips On How To Tackle The Elusive Pretty Woman (Part II)

Published
by
krisandro
on May 16, 2008
in My-Views
.

In the 1st part, I shared with you guys on how to get the 10/10 woman’s number. Now you have her number and she doesn’t have yours. Being in this situation, what would you do?

1. Call her immediately to see if the number is correct.

2. Call her that very night.

3. Call her the very next day.

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dial-phone
[Image from Flickr]

WRONG! Seeing is that she is a hot 10/10 woman, she probably got 10 guys or more who tried to pick her up that day. And let’s just be optimistic and say that 5 out of the 10 (including yourself) manage to get her number. How many of the 5 will call her within 48hrs? All the other 4 would, most of the time. But you! You are different, because you have been enlightened by krisandro and his crap!

Call her only after a week or slightly less. Why? Because, after 2 days the 10/10 would have gotten calls from the other predictable 4 guys. In the next few days, she would be wondering, “Hey, why didn’t the 5th guy call me?”. She may not think of you THAT often, but having just ONE thought, makes her think of you without you doing anything at all. By this time, her interest would have risen a little bit because you are different and a little mysterious. Do take note that it is also important to not wait THAT LONG. If you call her 5 years later, thinking that she will salivate over the phone for you, please wake up your ducking idea.

The next point might be harder to accept. We all know that most girls LOVE to chat over the phone. Most guys bank on that idea and try to charm a woman over the same medium as well. The truth is, studies have shown that ‘communication’ is 55% visual (body language & eye contact), and 38% is vocal (pitch, speed, volume, tone of voice) and words you use are only a measly 7%.

What does this mean to you? It means that if you talk to her over the phone and you have PERFECT vocal skills and FLOWERY vocabulary and score a 100% on both terms, you will still fail on the overall. Because, the two terms I mentioned only make up 45% of ‘communication’.

The best thing you can do when you manage to call her is to do the following.

1. Say your name and hope that she remembers you.

2. Jog her memory a little if she doesn’t

3. Ask her out on a dinner date on WEEKDAYS. (Fridays count as weekends)

4. Offer a specific date and time.

5. If she agrees on that date, end the call politely.

6. If she disagrees, wait for her to counter-propose.

7. If she doesn’t, propose another day.

8. If she rejects it as well, end the call politely with no hints of calling back.

.

Let me explain further on the few points. The reason why you only ask a woman out on weekdays for the 1st few dates is because almost everyone values weekends more than weekdays. Weekends are usually for close ones like family, friends or love interests. By asking her out on a weekday, you don’t threaten her plans and increase the possibility of her being free enough to go out with you.

The point of asking her out on a specific date and time is to show your confidence and to reduce her thought process. If you ask open ended questions like, “Hey, WHEN are you free ah?”, she will think about a lot more stuffs other than her schedule. If she rejects your first offer, pause and wait for her to speak. If she does counter-offer, it shows that she is genuinely not free and wants to offer another date. Lots of men try too hard and sound like,

“Tomorrow not free ah? How about Tuesday? No? Wednesday? Thursday leh? FRIDAY CAN? PLEASE?“

Of course she might not counter-propose and you should try ONE more time. But that’s it. If she still rejects your second proposal for a date and time, end the call politely. If you really want to try again, do it again after a week or less to show that you have determination but not desperate enough to call her the very next day.

If you played this right, and she agrees to the date and realize that she still doesn’t have your number after the call. Good for you! Call her again on that dinner date itself to confirm the date and give her your number, so that you don’t stand in the middle of Bugis Junction looking like an idiot. If she asks for your number on the 1st call, its okay as well. But now, she has some means to think about it and may reject you easily with just an sms.

man-waiting
[Image from Flickr]

Scoring the 1st date is just a small step towards the goal of having her as your girl. I may blog about the “Do’s and Don’ts of Dates” when I feel like it. Meanwhile, you all can stutter and stumble your way around. :p

Oh and by the way, don’t hate the girls who say ‘No’ to you that early. Be grateful that you get rejected early than having her hover around and wasting your time with you thinking that you got a chance. Recognize the signs that she isn’t interested in you and move on.

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Tips On How To Tackle The Elusive Pretty Woman

Published
by
krisandro
on May 16, 2008
in My-Views
.

First of all, I have to say that I am by no means a love guru nor a player who is speaking from experience from bedding all the hot babes from Tuas to Changi. I am just a guy who loves to read a lot on the psychology of humans and especially on BGRs.

silhouette-woman2
[Image from Flickr]

The title should have been ‘Tips On How To Tackle The Elusive Beautiful Woman’ but to me, beauty comes from within and its not about looks. For example, KuKuNehNeh is definitely not a 10/10, but she is beautiful to me. My mum may be old and wrinkled but she is the most beautiful woman I know. So, when I say ‘pretty’, I do mean the ladies that are rated 8 to 10/10 on the looks factor. Of course I do recognize that every woman is different and the following might not work on the 10/10 girl and work on the 3/10 girl instead.

Once again, I will like to emphasize that the following information you are about to digest are of bits and pieces of my reads and observations and not of my own personal experience.

.

So, you met this hot looking girl at a club, the gym, at your workplace, the pool or even your HDB void deck. One look and you immediately rate her as a 10/10. You would die if you didn’t get to know her. What would you do?

1. Go up to her and deliver your cheesy pickup line. “Did anyone ever tell you that the stars are in your eyes?”

2. Write your number and name and pass it to her without saying much.

3. Secretly take her picture and bring the photo to a bomoh to cast a love spell.

Unfortunately, the 3 methods won’t work 99% of the time, unless you are a 10/10 guy to her as well. Even then, she might not even give two flying ducks about the 10/10 guy.

The 10/10 girl is a creature that have been complimented all her life. She has been bombarded with praises from all sorts of people and men have been pouring in numbers just to know her first name. So, if you are just a regular dude, how do you rise above the competition to even get to know her, much less to win her heart?

First, guys need to understand the reality factor. A 4/10 guy will have little or no chance getting a 10/10 girl. Before all you people that go, “But Kris! LOOKS DON’T MATTER!” start to flame me, please look around yourself. Everyone who is with another always have looks that are within range of each other. Of course there will be exceptions of couples who resemble ‘The Beauty & The Beast’, but that is such a small minority till the point of insignificance. Reality is, everyone, whether consciously or unconsciously, has a MINIMUM standard in how you want your other half to look.

Of course, every guy might over or under-estimate your looks factor and it’s not wrong to just try anyway. The secret about trying is not about methods but about giving up and moving on to the next target when you know the 10/10 is not interested in you.

When you do approach the 10/10 or any other female for that matter, she will immediately size you up even BEFORE you speak. On a scale of 100% in terms of interest, she will put you somewhere around the middle if you are lucky.

silhouette-woman
[Image from Flickr]

What do you say next? A simple ‘Hi’ will do really. Frankly, most pickup lines suck anyway. And you will actually decrease her interest level if you tried to deliver some funky line. Imagine if she doesn’t understand it the first time and your confidence plummets as you deliver it a 2nd time. If she is pleased at what she sees, a ‘Hi’ will do. If she thinks you look like shit with legs, it doesn’t matter if you can charm a corpse to rise from a grave.

Do not offer your name if you can. Chat her up with something related to the place or whatever she is doing. Keep it light and work on her answers if you can. Have her talk more then you. Girls hate it when you interrogate them as though you are filling a questionnaire. If she keeps answering your questions with one word answers, game over. If she is still not interested enough to ask for your name, you can ask now with the ‘I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine’ method.

“Hey, my name is Ah Kow, And you are….?”

Now, do not spend too much time talking with her till she wants to end it before you do. Chat her up, have her tell you her name or ask for yours first if able. End the conversation yourself by saying that you have to leave and ask for her number. Some women will say no, others will ask why, some will even ask for yours instead and refusing to give theirs.

Do not give them your number. Ever. It will most probably end up in the 1st rubbish bin she sees when you are out of her sight or in a recycling bin if she is eco-friendly. This is the last ‘test’ you can do on her to gauge her interest level on the 1st encounter. If she doesn’t want to give it to you. Don’t grovel and beg or ask why. Just be polite, say it’s alright, thank her for the conversation and walk away. If you got her number and she asked for yours, be cheeky and say, “No. I’ll call you.” and leave with a smile.

Congratulations, you got her number and you said ‘No’ to the 10/10 girl who hears ‘Yes’ 90% of her life.

Stay tuned for, “You got her number, what next?”

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This is Why You Can Never Find “The One”

Published
by
krisandro
on May 12, 2008
in My-Views
.

couple-shadows
[Image from flickr]

After attending a wedding on Saturday, discussing about love on a friend’s car and reading about Xinyun’s post here and Limetouch’s post here, I decided to bring up this theory of mine that I once blogged about in my old website.

First of all, I will to define the meaning of “The One”. It might be different from what you have in mind but here it is anyway.

“‘The One’ is the one person who is perfectly suited for you. Humans are imperfect, just like jigsaw puzzles, made of protruding and intruding edges. ‘The One’ doesn’t have to be the most good looking, the most intelligent, the richest nor the kindest, but the very one who will fit on you like a perfect jigsaw piece. “

- krisandro

..

jigsaw-of-love
[Image from flickr]

I am not saying that if you like to fart and ‘The One’ will like to smell lar, but you do get my definition don’t you?

Religious people, put aside your god for a few minutes as you read this post. You guys tend to believe that the dude “up there” has something in store for you and “The One” is destined to meet you in 7 months, 14 days, 33 mins and 20 secs later because it’s in god’s schedule. The both of you will then see each other and then god will like whisper in your head to tell you that he/she is the one. Of course twitter might get popular up there by that time and god might use that to tell you.

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To really get my theory across to you. Let’s just say that you are a 25 yr old straight male and assume the following which may very well be correct or close to the truth anyway.

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Every person in the whole world is unique.

There is currently 6,602,224,175 people in the world right now.

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The sexes are divided equally.

3,301,112,088 people are women.

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15% of women are lesbians (I am being optimistic here).

2,805,945,275 women are straight.

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Assuming everyone lives to a hundred and you only accept women who are your age or 3 years your senior or junior. 93% of the straight women are not within your age range.

196,416,170 straight women are within your accepted age range.

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Lets just assume that for every 1000 straight and correctly aged women you meet, only ONE is suitable to date. Suitability in this sense means that she meets the MINIMUM standards in the usual factors like looks, intelligence, wealth, personality, etc…)

0.1% of 196,416,170 = 1,964,162 women.

That is ONE MILLION, NINE HUNDRED AND SIXTY FOUR THOUSAND, ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY TWO women in the world who are straight, of your age range and meets your minimum requirements of what you look for in a woman.

And we all know that everyone needs to date a person for sometime before you can really tell if the both of you fit each other like gloves.

So, unless you have met and dated 1,964,162 women in your lifetime, you will NEVER find the one. Unless it’s by PURE LUCK.

So, what gives? I just feel that, at some point in time, you will have to see a person and say,

“Hey, she/he may not be the “The One”, but he/she is definitely good enough for me to love for the rest of my life and I am going to work at it to see that I increase the odds of it ever happening”

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Happy 8th Month-sery My Dear GF!!!

Published
by
krisandro
on April 2, 2008
in My-Life
.

8th-monthsery

Wow! This is gonna be cliche but, how time flies! It’s been 8 months already! It seems only yesterday that we got together officially. And since “8″ is highly regarded as an auspicious number, I shall say some auspicious words!

May we be happy together always!

May you succeed in your career!

May you strike it rich!

May you split the riches with me 80-20 (You 20%, me 80%)

I LOVE YOU, MY DEAR RUIFANG!

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