k r i s a n d r o

I was at KuKunehNeh’s (KKNN) place and was playing with her 3-year old niece called Ashlee. Ashlee has a little difficulty pronouncing my name and usually ends up calling me,

“Uncle TWISSSSSSSS!“

She is really cute and sometimes love to run into my crotch area, head first. Apart from these OUCH! moments and other weird things that kids like to do, one of the things she loves to do is to play with Microsoft Word on KKNN’s PC.

“Uncle TWISSSSSSSS! I want to play ABC!”

KKNN’s PC takes about 20 decades or so to start up and I sat on the chair and entertained Ashlee before the PC completely boots. I was wearing beach berms and much like jeans, beach berms are made of this thick material that has this unsightly fold around the crotch area especially when one is sitting down in it.

Ashlee saw the fold and she looked at me with doe eyes and asked curiously,

“What’s that?”

Before I could react, she moved swiftly and used one of her small hands to squeeze the tip of the fold.

“What’s that?” She asked with a more insistent tone and wearing a slight grin of a child who has found something interesting.

She rushed forward to squeeze the bulge again and I managed to lift her away before she decides to hammer the area with her fists or something.

“Uncle TWISSS! What’s that?”

It may be just the fold of my berms but I knew that she has probably caught on that boys have something that girls don’t have in that area and she wanted me to tell her what that ‘area’ contains.

“It’s just my shorts Ashlee. Er…. OH LOOK! The computer is on!”

It’s a good thing that kids at that age have short attention spans.

I got inspiration for this post from Wishbone who tagged me with a post called ’5 Scaries for Kids’. I never respond to tags but I shall blog about my greatest fear as a child.

I thought for sometime about what fears I had as a child and I almost couldn’t think of any. Not that I am fearless but I conquered my fears whenever I had any as a child. I was once afraid of heights but I forced myself to look down over ledges whenever I could. I was afraid of the dark and ghosts but I made myself walk through the kitchen and to the toilet in darkness. I am trying to recall the mentality that I had that made me want to conquer those fears. I think I was influenced by all the comics I read when I was young and a lot of them had a hero who faced their weaknesses and came out stronger.

Every Hero has their weaknesses…. and bad wardrobe days.

So in a way, the hundreds of dollars I’ve spent as a child on comic books didn’t go to waste after all! There was lessons to be learnt in between the pages of over-sized boobies found on female manga characters!

There was one fear that I couldn’t get rid of and it probably will stick with me throughout my life. The fear of death. Not mine but of people whom I care about.

It’s kinda dark for a child to think of such things but I was like that as a child. I would ponder about the meaning of life and my imaginative mind will somehow imagine scenarios if loved ones like my mother died. These moments will usually come in the dead of the night before I go to sleep and tears will stream down my face as my mind plays out the scenario. Kinda wimpy for a boy but I get so involved in those imaginations to the point where it seems so real.

I breakdown whenever I attend a funeral and see someone in tears. I just feel so sorry for the people who have to live with the absence of their loved ones.