k r i s a n d r o

Big brother is a very popular reality TV series that is adopted in various countries like the US, Australia, Spain and the UK. I am watching Season 10 of the US series. The game is basically about bringing a group of people into a house and isolating them from the outside world. The house is fitted with cameras and microphones and is fully equipped with necessities for the contestants to live in for a period of 3 months or so. This show appeals to the voyeuristic nature of humans or in local terms, our ‘kaypoh-ness’.

Drama unfolds

The game is basically about human relations. Every week, games and ceremonies are conducted to decide on various aspects of the show. The contestants are referred to as ‘house guests’ and the first game each week will have the winner declared as the ‘Head of Household’ aka ‘HOH’. The HOH will be safe from eliminations for the week and has to nominate two house guests to be up on the chopping block to face eviction.

A midweek game called the ‘Power of Veto’ (POV) will then be played and the winner of this POV will get the chance to save either of the house guests that was previously nominated for eviction.

Finally, the last ceremony will be conducted whereby the rest of the house guests (excluding the HOH and the 2 nominated house guests) will vote to choose who will be the evicted member for the week. The evicted member has to leave the confines of the house and lose the opportunity to win the huge cash price.

Games Galore

At the very end of the season, 2 house guests will be left and the house guests that were already eliminated will vote to see who will win the Big Brother competition.

Some of the eye candy this season

April

Jessie

Angie

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Phew! So much for explaining what it is all about! I love the show because of the unity of different people. Pastors, religious people, different races, babes, hunks, old and young, parents, young adults, loud people, scheming ones, etc…

It is so similar to life for me is because of the fact that the good and pure ones don’t make it far in the competition. They are too honest and are either too open in who they support or behaves in such a neutral way that they are seen as two-headed snakes.

The overly scheming ones who try to hard to stir shit here and there also do not make it far as well. These kinds make alliances here and there and they bitch about individuals on whatever chance they get. Eventually, they get ratted out because if someone talks bad about another to you all the time, it’s no surprise if he/she does the same to you to another group of people.

The people with power like the HOH have it difficult as well. Just like people with power in real life, they have to face ridicule if they make bad decisions. If they act all high and almighty, they also face the danger of being targeted if they are no longer in power. The HOH also faces a problem if he/she goes against the general consensus of the house-guests.

The ones who are very strong physically, mentally and who can win the games are sometimes percieved to be threats and are also eliminated early in the game.

In short, the good ones don’t make it far. The good ones realize that they have to be bad to stand a chance. The scheming ones shouldn’t try too hard. The ones who are very good in what they do should sometimes hold back to prevent people from seeing them as a threat. Eventually, whether you win it or not still depends on how much people like you.

Doesn’t it sound so much like life?

So much for a hiatus! But I did say that it will a short one! Anyway, the most popular post(s) for my blog will have to be the Kristy^ series. It has been shared/replicated in many blogs and forums and also nominated for the Ping Awards as ‘Most Entertaining Post’. With this post, Kristy^ will make ‘her’ 3rd and final appearance!

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WAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHA!!!!

I got this interesting email in my spam folder a couple of nights ago and usually I will do quick scans of the titles and sender names before I empty the whole spam folder. Usually, the spam titles will ATTEMPT to address victims with names and for me it will be usually ‘KRIS’, ‘KRISANDRO’ or ‘KRISANDRO MCBECKS’. And I opened this particular email because,

Seldom will I have emails addressing me as ‘KRIS TAN’ and so I got curious and opened it. These are the contents.

BARR ZHAO CHANG

BENTARIO PANG RD,

75 JALA GELENG,

DOUPASARA CLOSE, 56000

KUALA LUMPUR,

MALAYSIA,

Email: barr.zchang@gmail.com

Phone: +60129238257

Good day I am Barr Zhao Chang, an attorney at law.A deceased client of mine, who here in after shall be referred to as my client, died as the result of a heart-related condition on the 11 November 2001. His heart condition was due to the death of all the members of his family in the Gulf Air Flight Crashes in Persian Gulf Near Bahrain Aired August 23, 2000 – 2:50 p.m. ET as reported on:http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0008/23/bn.08.html

I have contacted you to assist in distributing the money left behind by my client before it is confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank where this deposit valued at Nineteen million dollars( US$19 million dollars) is lodged. This bank has issued me a notice to contact the next of kin, or the account will be confiscated.

My proposition to you is to seek your consent to present you as the next-of-kin and beneficiary of my named client, since you have the same last name, so that the proceeds of this account can be paid to you. Then we can share the amount on a mutually agreed-upon percentage. All legal documents to back up your claim as my client’s next-of-kin will be provided.All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this transaction through.

This will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from many breach of the law. If this business proposition offends your moral values,do accept my apology. I must use this opportunity to implore you to exercise the utmost indulgence to keep this matter extraordinary confidential, whatever your decision, while I await your prompt response.Please contact me at once to indicate your interest. I will like you to acknowledge the receipt of this e-mail as soon as possible via my private email address which is ( barr.zchang@gmail.com ) and treat with absolute confidentiality and sincerity.I look forward to your quick reply.

Best regards,

Barr Zhao Chang

Attorney at Law

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First of all, his email is ‘barr.zchang’ which totally sounds like this Chinese delicacy.

[Photo of Ba Zhang from here]

Apparently, this Ba Zhang has a client who died on 11 November 2001 because his whole family died in an air crash and the client left behind U.S NINETEEN MILLION DOLLARS ($19,000,000) behind. The bank asked him to look for his next of kin and since there isn’t any, BaZhang looked for me because me and the dead rich dude has the same last name.

Well… If my name is Kris QwertyWTFLOLBBQ then it isn’t a problem I guess. I don’t think anybody has that for a surname, but my surname is…

TAN

According to wikipedia, the MOST common ethnic Chinese surname is none other than ‘TAN’! 9.5% of the Chinese in Singapore have the same surname as me which means that you 237,800 Tans have a chance to share the 19 million dollars with our dear BaZhang friend

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I have no need of so much monopoly money. So, don’t hesitate! CONTACT BAZHANG NOW!

Review of products and services were used to be left to the experts. But these days, with the introduction of services like Blog2U.sg and Yebber, bloggers are now tasked to do reviews for various things like gadgets, food, shops and etc. Popular bloggers are even headhunted to do reviews for various companies.

I am not famous enough to have companies approach me to do reviews but I need to practice so that when the time comes, I SHALL BE READY!!!

WARNING: All content after the following line are not to be taken seriously. Known side effects of believing what Krisandro says are the following: excessive question marks popping over one’s head; the urge to smash your monitor with the nearest family member you can find; detecting a foul odor that resembles shit that stems from the crap that Krisandro produces.

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Review of FP’s Soft White Facial Tissues

FP is a well known household brand that every Singaporean can identify with. And so it was with great pleasure when a spokesperson from FP called me up last week.

“Harlo?”

“Yes?”

“Is this er… er… KISS-SEND-DO?”

“Er…. its KRISANDRO.”

“Aiya, same same lar.”

“Who is this?”

“Ah! My name is Ah Kow! And I got good news for you.”

“Not interested…. KThxBye!”

*CLICK*

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A few minutes later….

“HARLO!”

“Yes?”

“AH KOW HERE! WHY YOU CUT THE LINE?”

“I don’t like telemarketers.”

“I AM NOT LAR! I am from FP! And we want to ask you to review a product!”

“Orh… say so earlier lar”

“MACIAM I GOT CHANCE TO SAY EARLIER.”

“Okay, okay… Anyway, why you all find me?”

“Oh… we compiled a list of the top 5,000 bloggers in Singapore and we approach the ones from the top lor.”

“Okay! Sounds good!”

“Yah… but we keep kena rejected by all of them. So I don’t wanna waste time. I called from the bottom instead lor. Last name was yours.”

*CLICK*

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Anyway, I accepted their offer eventually and got the product through the mail.

At first look, I found that the packaging was simple and everyone can carry the tissue around without being ashamed, unlike those cartoon-ish ones. It might be a little on the feminine side but there is a little gayness in everyone for the tissue paper to be accepted.

Next up was the probably the most important in any proper tissue paper review. The softness of the tissue paper. You don’t want to have a nice meal and then wiping your face with a tissue paper to only find out that the tissue paper is as soft as an industrial grade sandpaper.

[Image from here]

And since the word “Soft” is written with 50 pt font size on the packaging, it better be so.

After countless wiping of my mouth with the tissue paper, there was no signs of abrasion. I decided to take it a step further and dig my left nostril repeatedly with the tissue. I did not bleed nor had any abrasion but my left nostril seems to be larger than my right this morning. The things a blogger will sacrifice for a review for you readers. *Sigh *

Unlike some other companies who are boasting about their tissue papers being ’3-ply’, FP decided to stick with ’2-ply’ tissues.

I applaud their decision based on the following benefits.

1. The package is 33.333333333333333334% lighter than 3-ply tissues

2. It is much easier to FLING the lighter tissue paper on seats to CHOP seats

3. Using 2-ply tissue paper to dig your nose is less damaging than using 3-ply

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Every product always has a big claim on their products. Like “BEST IN THE WORLD”, “NUMBER #1 IN SINGAPORE”, “LEADING BRAND IN….” or “GUARANTEED TO….. IN 3 DAYS!”. FP is no different, and their claim on the tissue paper is that….

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… each package got 10 Sheets.

To make sure you readers don’t get cheated, I counted the number of sheets in the package for 254 times to make sure that they really had the amount that they claim.

They were honest.

In conclusion, FP made a great product with a very classy designed packaging. Users will find that the softness of the tissue paper will lose out to their 3-ply rivals but it makes up with its reduced weight. And most important of all, it delivered its promise.

10 Sheets. No More. No Less.